It's hell hard to be a girlfriend for the first time.
Hard enough when you don't know what to do, when you're just so insane, acting through your heart, not even thinking, just saying all that you feel.
Doing all crazy things to make your partner happy, when in the end just making him angry.
Showing off your talents, like writing poems, singing , and etcetera just to hear a praise or a compliment by your lover and since you want him to know that he's lucky for having you.
Learning to be beautiful, like applying make-up, when it isn't really your style, but for the sake of your partner, cause you don't want him to be embarrassed when walking with you.
Can't help feeling like a big pain in the ass when you can't help him with his problems.
Gathering all the courage in the air, to make him laugh and comfort him during his downfalls, but in the end, it isn't even a bit working.
Asking him to hang out with you which means swallowing your pride and asking him for a date just to strengthen the bonds between the two of you.
Not attending the events I really wanted to go to just for him, yea, even if it's your most awaited-event since childhood. you won't attend it, cause you want to see him, and you want to be with him.
Talking to the boys who loves you, and saying how handsome some other man is when he's really not, just to make him jealous.
Can't be angry, cause whatever happens, the one who ends up angry is only him and cause he can just stop talking to you in a month or so, but unfortunately you can't bear not to talk to him in a month or so, ending up retreating.
Chasing him, always saying sorry, cause too afraid that you might lose him which means you'll experience break-up for the first time.
Being too attached with his family, loving his mother like your own, caring for them like your own.
And hell yeah, gathering all the courage and energy for saying I love you and I miss you
every time, and each time you tell it you mean it, but you can feel through his eyes and voice that he's been tired of hearing it.
Now tell me what the fuck is wrong. So is it because I'm too exaggerated upon loving you? Oh well sorry, the next time you know, I'll be too cold towards you. I know I've been too conceited. I know I'm acting beyond the boundaries. I claim that it's always me that is at pain, because of you. I know I'm wrong for that. Wrong for claiming that it's always me, wrong for shouting it to the whole world through facebook and twitter. Who knows maybe you're also in pain. Who knows maybe all the pain you feel is stuck and building up inside you, cause you won't tell anyone, cause you don't want them to get the idea that I'm bad.
Sorry, I'm an insensitive, bad-ass girlfriend.
Sorry if I always shout to the world how much you have hurt me. Sorry but I don't want to die in a heart disease for keeping the pain and leave it building up nw inside cause who knows maybe it'll explode one day, which means a heart attack, so damn it but sorry I don't want to die early.
And oh, guys and men of the world, I know what you're thinking. That's just complains right? Come on, don't we have the right to complain? Tch.
Emotions on Fire @ 1:22 AM | back to top
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NAME: Ren, RenRen, Lay, Xychii, Tsukky