// Blabberings

Just like Romeo and Juliet

2011-10-29T22:47:00.000-07:00

*Read it once* :(

Boy: Baby, we need to talk.

Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?

Boy: Something has come up...

Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?

Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.

Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesn't break up with me... I love him so much.

Boy: Baby, are you there??

Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??

Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..

Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.

Boy: I'm leaving...

Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.

Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.

Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.

Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.

Girl: I can't believe this.

[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously

ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the

damn phone!! (And hangs up).]

Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.

Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.

Boy: Would you run away with me?

Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!

Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..

Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.

Boy: I need to give you something tonight, because I am leaving on

flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.

Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.

Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.

[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives

her a note.]

Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.

Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)

Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.

Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)

[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]

It says...

"Erica,

You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you.

The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my b**** and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you.

Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, b****. You never did the

right thing, and you were never there.

I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you.

And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that.

B****, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. F***, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.

- Ricardo"

[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]

A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely. Then she gets a phone call.

Friend: How are you feeling?

Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.

Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...

Girl: Umm.. okay.

[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,

It says:

"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...

Hate = Love

Never = Always

B**** = Baby

Will not= will

...I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"]

Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!

Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call me later.

Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!

Erica turns the T.V. on.

[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors.

This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school." the Reporter says.

She turns off the t.v. 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for]

A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message.

"Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time.

So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good……!! :'(

44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

2011-10-29T22:15:00.001-07:00

Ladies, this will make you tear up :)
Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.
2-Talk to her.
3-Share secrets.
4-Give her your jacket.
5-Kiss her slowly.

Are you remembering this?

6-Hug her.
7-Hold her.
8-Laugh with her.
9-Invite her somewhere.
10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.
12-Take pics with her.
13-Pull her onto your lap.
14-When she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back.
15-When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

Are you thinking about someone?

16-Always hug her and say, "I love you," whenever you see her.
17-Kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-Tell her shes beautiful- NOT SEXY! She wants to feel pretty- not skanky
20-Tell her the way you feel about her!

Oh, and on that last one... you need to show her you mean it too.

21-Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22-Tell her she means everything to you, but MEAN IT.
23-If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means she doesn't want to talk about it, so just hug her.
24-Make her feel loved.
25-Kiss her in front of other girls you know.

We might deny it but we actually LIKE it and WANT you to tickle us-we love to flirt ;P

26-Don't lie to her.
27-Dont cheat on her.
28-Take her anywhere she wants.
29-Txt messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.
30-Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you.

Are you still reading this? You better be- it's important.

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone, hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If she's upset, comfort her.

Remember this next time you are with her...

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible.

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHE'S LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always remind her how much you love her.

You'll never know when she needs just a little more love.

Cute Picture Messages

2011-10-28T21:10:00.000-07:00

Really so awesome. That's so sweet. :">

Sweet Messages

2011-10-27T04:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it'd be nice. I wonder if you feel the same way too. =(

This is just simply sweet. :">

This never happened to me, and worse, it is impossible to happen. Haha. I can't even imagine it. But anyway, this is really really, really sweet. :"> :"> :">

Hell hard to be a girlfriend for the first time.

2011-10-27T01:22:00.000-07:00

It's hell hard to be a girlfriend for the first time.

Hard enough when you don't know what to do, when you're just so insane, acting through your heart, not even thinking, just saying all that you feel.

Doing all crazy things to make your partner happy, when in the end just making him angry.

Showing off your talents, like writing poems, singing , and etcetera just to hear a praise or a compliment by your lover and since you want him to know that he's lucky for having you.

Learning to be beautiful, like applying make-up, when it isn't really your style, but for the sake of your partner, cause you don't want him to be embarrassed when walking with you.

Can't help feeling like a big pain in the ass when you can't help him with his problems.

Gathering all the courage in the air, to make him laugh and comfort him during his downfalls, but in the end, it isn't even a bit working.

Asking him to hang out with you which means swallowing your pride and asking him for a date just to strengthen the bonds between the two of you.

Not attending the events I really wanted to go to just for him, yea, even if it's your most awaited-event since childhood. you won't attend it, cause you want to see him, and you want to be with him.

Talking to the boys who loves you, and saying how handsome some other man is when he's really not, just to make him jealous.

Can't be angry, cause whatever happens, the one who ends up angry is only him and cause he can just stop talking to you in a month or so, but unfortunately you can't bear not to talk to him in a month or so, ending up retreating.

Chasing him, always saying sorry, cause too afraid that you might lose him which means you'll experience break-up for the first time.

Being too attached with his family, loving his mother like your own, caring for them like your own.

And hell yeah, gathering all the courage and energy for saying I love you and I miss you every time, and each time you tell it you mean it, but you can feel through his eyes and voice that he's been tired of hearing it.

Now tell me what the fuck is wrong. So is it because I'm too exaggerated upon loving you? Oh well sorry, the next time you know, I'll be too cold towards you. I know I've been too conceited. I know I'm acting beyond the boundaries. I claim that it's always me that is at pain, because of you. I know I'm wrong for that. Wrong for claiming that it's always me, wrong for shouting it to the whole world through facebook and twitter. Who knows maybe you're also in pain. Who knows maybe all the pain you feel is stuck and building up inside you, cause you won't tell anyone, cause you don't want them to get the idea that I'm bad.

Sorry, I'm an insensitive, bad-ass girlfriend.

Sorry if I always shout to the world how much you have hurt me. Sorry but I don't want to die in a heart disease for keeping the pain and leave it building up nw inside cause who knows maybe it'll explode one day, which means a heart attack, so damn it but sorry I don't want to die early.

And oh, guys and men of the world, I know what you're thinking. That's just complains right? Come on, don't we have the right to complain? Tch.

Love doesn't ONLY means happiness

2011-10-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

Love doesn't ONLY means happiness

needle-like things piercing through my heart,
enough for separating my body and soul apart.
you know what it means when its life and death
slowly, gradually, rapidly taking away my breath.

is this what you call pain or is it some other feeling
in crowd you smile as if the ache is not even hurting
smiling, laughing, wishing someone would save you
inside the cage, crying, shouting, someone would free you

where is the key to eternal happiness
does it even exist in this darkness
loving someone wouldn't mean happiness
it also means being trapped in darkness

-Ren

A poem

2011-10-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

No Title

empty body walking dead
all the tears she shed
for him it's nothing
for her it's everything

giving him yourself in a hundred percent
being loved by him is zero percent
when is it fair, when is it mutual
happy, sad, pain, what an endless cycle

just how lucky are some to find their someone
who would answer their heart's call
just how miserable she is with her only one
who would never be his one and only at all.

if only our hearts can be taught
if only happiness could be bought
money would just be everything
no need for love coz its nothing

-Ren

tomorrow i want to go to the beach

2011-10-25T08:21:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I want to go to the Beach

tomorrow i want to go to the beach
want to watch the waves of the sea
to witness the rise and set of the sun
and feel the flow of energy within me

my, isn't it a lovely feeling
peaceful and calm wind breezing
telling you life is a paradise
wherein reality is full of lies

fool are we trying to explore
something we couldn't reach
imaginations upon beyond seashore
remains imaginations even after death

endless rebellion inside us
war within ourselves
weak and fragile like glass
couldn't resist harshness of fate

tomorrow i want to go to the beach
continue living in illusions
believing beyond is what i imagine it to be
and so achieve happiness through imaginations

(:

-Ren

Changes.

2011-10-25T05:56:00.000-07:00

There were so many changes in my life since I migrated here in Philippines. It's inevitable but why so sudden and rapid?

I'm currently studying in University of Santo Thomas, 1st Year Legal Management Student in the Faculty of Arts and Letters, and this is all for my ambition to become a lawyer. Rather than just a dream, I'm walking forward and surpassing all trials to attain it, I think? I honestly admit I'm not doing my best or rather I never had done my best. Elementary or High School, and nothing changes even now that I'm in college. I'm grade conscious and all but it feels like I can't give it my all. I don't know why but I'm not really studying, yet my grades are still good. I am not bragging but rather I'm guilty. I do not deserve these grades, that's what I honestly feel. Coming home from school, I rarely open my books and do my assignments, I just read manga, watch anime and dramas, and facebook all the time. I feel like I'm cheating. Honestly. Oh well, that's for my academic life.

On the other hand, I became a loner. Not exactly alone, I do have friends and all, but I don't feel them. I'm stuck with my old friends whom I all met in my former hometown, Jeddah Saudi Arabia. There's no bond at all at right now. I still feel alone. I feel unwanted. It's like no one understands me. I wonder if there's such thing as a barrier that hinders me from being understood by others. Well, total opposite in the online world. I do have many friends. Many adores me, many admires me, many tries to steal my heart, but it isn't enough. That's why I deactivated my account which gave me those feelings. I'd rather invest time and effort on making friends here in the real world. But I guess it isn't just for me, having best friends that is. Oh well, that's for my social life.

Boyfriend eh? All-in-one man. He's my best friend, my boyfriend, my soon-to-be-husband. The only reason why I still have my sanity here in this country is because of him. But really, problems would never stop coming. My relationship is DAMN forbidden. I hate that part really. And so moving on, imagine living in a country where neither your parents or siblings are. How lonely, since I grew up with them. Imagine living in a house where even if the persons living there are your own family are all depressed. No comes a day where there no lectures or sermons or no one is angry. It's very different from the environment I used to live in. I was never confronted with the harshness of life and money till I lived here. I rarely felt the problems, like life is problematic and such. I lived in a half-paradise before, but I dare say, I live in a half-hell environment now. Oh well, that's my love and family life.

My blog life, I am rarely posting, but I'm trying my best to post again and again. I miss writing poems, composing songs and all, maybe I should write one. Later, I will. (:

That's it for now. :<

Good Day everyone! :)

Sorry for the wrong grammars and all, I'm drunk T_T

Jpop Festival Kick - Off Party

2011-10-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

Due to unseen circumstances, we are moving J-POP Festival on the second week of January 2012 at SMX Convention Center. We would like to express our sincerest apology for whatever inconvenience that we may have caused.

However, we will hold a Kick-Off Party as a warm up for the biggest J-POP Festival to happen on 2012.

J-POP Festival 'Kick-Off Party!' will happen on November 13, 2011 in Cinema 10, SM Megamall. The event will start from 1pm and will end at 6pm.

J-POP Festival 'Kick-Off Party!' will surely be filled to the brim with exciting activities such as: Gyudon Eating Contest, J-POP Singing Contest, J-POP Dance Contest, Vocaloid Cosplay Contest, and a whole lot more!

Plus will be giving away lots and lots of kawaii goodies! Anime contact lenses, movie passes, J-POP albums and more!

TIME FOR J-POP!

Note: J-POP Festival 'Kick-Off Party' is going to be a debut event of JAPANICE Productions in cooperation with KFest Manila Events Management.

Entrance Fee: P85

-

I'm totally excited, I'll be like 10 AM there. Goodness, I will surely attend this. I even want to join the Gyudon Eating Contest, but I dunno how. T_T anyways, this is so coool ! >.<

Disappointment

2011-10-24T01:55:00.000-07:00

Disappointment is the bitter effect of expectations. I always hear at movies and especially with my friends during high school that when you got a boyfriend/girlfriend, your world would be different. You'd feel butterflies in your stomach, you can't even sleep even if you want to, you can't eat, cause your mind is full of thoughts about him/her. They even said that even after endless talking, there would be no such time where you will run out of topics. Another thing they said is that no matter how much tired you are or even how much tired your lover is, when the two of you talked, talked and talked, tiredness will fade, and both will become enthusiastic. In my mind, I'm doubtful, I'm curious. In my heart, I'm totally excited, maybe this can help me escape loneliness. And so I tried to change my fate.

I began to search and fortunately I found one. I'm so enthusiastic and eager to verify if those things they said are true. Months passed, my happiness was unparalleled. But after some time, loneliness again appears. I can feel his boredom towards me. I can feel his tiredness upon me. Every feeling he has, good or bad, it all reaches me. Even my dreams keep on telling me, every nightmare during nights, when I can't help but wake from that nasty dream and suddenly realized tears itself are flowing, every signs there are, they keep on showing me, that someday this man will leave me alone. Harsh realities as it is, it's as if I want to break my world, and build a whole new world, but it means death in reality. I wonder every time, where is my place, where I can be filled with unending joy? Why is this world cruel? Mountain of questions I have, but only have this single, deepest wish, to attain happiness, not alone, but with someone walking down the rocky road path of life with me.

It sucks to always dream, fantasize, and hope. Many times have I tried to accept this, but it's just too painful to accept. It's as if for the rest of your life, you'll be living with regrets, disappointments, and bitterness. Well, it just proves that nothing lasts forever isn't it? Even that feeling of happiness you cherish.

But what is this feeling? It is as if you're hopelessly, desperately clinging, holding on, as if you can't ever let go, and that's because you feel there's a tiny chance, a tiny hope, that even if it is tiny or a bit, even if it takes forever to happen, you're willing to hold on, to endure all pain, to persevere all hardships. Have you ever felt that way? Or is it just me? :c

Bound to.

2011-09-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

My life remains to be in agony. Pain is my best friend. Happiness is my enemy. I never thought I would be like this. No one to hold to. No one to talk with especially during this times. Will someone ever recognize me and make me feel the butterflies in my stomach? Will someone ever give me a rose and a chocolate just to make me smile? Will someone ever just embrace me and pet my hair and listen to me cry? Will someone ever hold my hand and open my eyes that the world is beautiful. Will someone ever tell me that they wanna be with me all the time? Will someone ever love me more than I love them? Really, life is frustrating. Nothing's perfect. But as cruel as it seems, nothing's even close to perfect. Everything is the same. In reality, there's no such ideal things or human. I'm bound to go away from the world of fantasy. and I'm bound to linger and savor every pain in reality.

Bullet

2011-07-01T04:59:00.000-07:00

Love never fails, but people do. Let me share my story about it.

It will be soon before it ends. A month is too much soon and a year is too soon. But years will pass and it's soon enough. My fate is pretty determined, pretty predictable. My love story is short. And I hope everything'll be fine. But hoping is just merely wishing. And a wish just comes true in fairy tales.

My father, pretty much my family don't like this man. Even though this is my first time to love, they don't understand me, they keep on telling me that this is not the one for me, that my beloved man will just kill me or destroy my future. And if I insisted on being with this guy, my father told me that he can order someone to kill him! And what the fuck, the hell! I just can't accept it! I badly want to tell them that if he will kill me, then I must be dead by now. But what happened with me? Did something happen? Am I dead? But I know, they won't even listen to my explanation, they would just spank me, slap me, ground me, or even isolate me from the world. What do they think of me? A doll!

Damn it, but they tell me all these things with authority. And who am I to answer? i have no such authority to talk back, cause I am just merely their daughter. If I speak just a word, it would be considered talking back therefore disrespecting them. It sucks you know. This feeling of having no chance to fight for something so significant, so important?! But I got no power. In the end I am just helpless, torn between the paths of my happiness and my loneliness. Leaving this man would make me lonely, though my parents are gonna be happy. But being with this man makes me complete. I have proved it many times that I dearly love this man. But my parents keep on dictating me. Fuck it, I have no power! Damn so much, I keep on questioning the heaven, the skies, the souls, why o why don't my parents give me a chance to be with the man I love! This sucks too much, I can't breathe in anymore. I can't hate them, can't despise them, because without them I am not here, but what the hell do I feel? I don't want to be with them, cause being with them brings back the lonely feelings that's already buried deep inside me. What am I supposed to do?

Then I made one step forward the path of loneliness. I lied and insisted on breaking up with him. Cause I know this is the right thing, I'd rather break up with him and watch him from afar than knowing he's dead. But really fate is playful, he doesn't accept this. Even though I told him that if he insist on loving me he will be in danger, he accepts it. He said he can't leave without me, and it's his first time loving this much. He even said that this is his first time pleading, he pleaded for me not to leave. I don't know how to respond. I am so happy hearing and feeling, knowing that he loves me this much. What the hell, I am supposed to take the path of loneliness! But every second, every moment, little by little, I am turning my back on the path I've chosen. This time my heart decides for me, and my heart has chosen to take the other route which is full of risk.

I love him, and I will respect his decision to stay with me, even if it'll cost his life. He is happy with me, and it's my honor. I am doing this cause I know, someday along the rains or the shiny days, he will be forced to leave me, he will be forced to break my heart. Or maybe I will fall to another man. We can't accurately predict the future. But it's within our hands. And I will keep on loving him, keep on staying beside him, and when the gun is ticked, I will be the one who will take the bullet for him.

Change

2011-05-31T07:46:00.000-07:00

There is something in his eyes I wish to know. Everything’s changing I know, but my gut feelings are telling me that’s it’s for worse. This is what I fear – to know that his love for me is actually fading and for worst, without him himself realizing that. I am scared for that day to come, when I will ask the blue skies where his love has gone, where his eyes are looking, and for whom is he breathing now for? …

Who am I to begin with? What in me is supposed to likeable eh? I can never be the kind of girlfriend he would ever like. I don’t know what’s supposed to do when in a relationship. Having no experience whatsoever, I admit, all the faults are on my side. The only thing I could do, whether wrong or right is to love, love, and love. I cannot see but I can feel that this wouldn’t be everlasting as I would hope. He is definitely blooming. He is looking good, and better, I’m pretty sure next time he would be at his best. And for that matter, I can’t look at him; I can’t handle the hotness I’m feeling. And so there comes the time I pity myself. A man as handsome as him won’t look good with an ugly fat girl like me. And as early as now, I know I cannot satisfy him in bed because I’m not that attractive like I was before. I hate to be compared, but here am I comparing myself from his previous girlfriend, and I therefore conclude, I would never ever be as good and as cunning like her when it comes to bed. HAHA. And so seeing merely his looks changing little by little makes me question myself. Do I deserve this guy? Does he deserve someone just like me? When in fact, I’m just a 15 year old girl who is merely lost in her huge dreams? I can tell. His eyes are telling me, I am not the type of girl he would be serious with for long. He even doesn’t like to talk with me about his future plans and etcetera. But nonsense since he would just deny it, and much worse, he really doesn’t know it, yet…

Seriously, when will I come to back to my sanity and stop clinging onto this lovely man? When will I stop this craziness and let this man go? When will I finally accept that I was really never meant for him to begin with? When in reality I just snatched him from his previous woman? When will this madness end? And goodness gracious, when will a miracle happen? A miracle that we could and would be together despite all the odds…

Final thought eh? I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME …

My Trip to Philippines. (Tagalog)

2011-04-04T03:50:00.000-07:00

There are many things I want to share. There are many things going on my mind. I have many questions left to ask. :))

Naisip ko . Bakit hindi subukan ng presidente mag disguise at gumala sa mga matataong lugar. Subukan niya kaya magjeep at magcommute. Subukan na pagmasdan ang kapaligiran. Ang kabila ay makukulay na tower - Makati. at ang kabila, kaawa-awang skwater. Ano kaya kanyang mararamdaman noh? :) Kahit naman sigurong may maawaing puso, pipilitin may magawa para dun. Ngunit, PERA. walang maibigay na pera, dahil kailangan din, para sa pamilya at sa samu't saring bagay. Ngunir pano kung may kakayanan ka diba? Bakit hnd ka tumulong... Kung tutuusin madali lang ang lahat. Pinapakomplikado lang ng mga "Selfish desires" ng mga tao. Bakit hnd muna magtulungan, bago ang makasariling pangangailangan. Akala ko nga mahirap talaga ang pilipinas. Ngunir sa aking paggala. Walang disiplina. Puro porma. Selpong magagara. Kotseng nagbubuga ng itim na usok. Mga Lovers in Paris kuno. Mga aleng nanlilimos. Mga baliw na pagala gala. Mga batang lansangan na sana'y may magandang kinabukasan. Mga mayayamang suplado at suplado. Mga tsimosa at tsimoso. Mga lasinggero sa may tindahan. Mga babaeng makakapal ang make-up. Mga babaeng maiikli ang shorts, kita mga boobs. Mga lalaking malalagkit ang tingin. Mga mukhang adik. Mga kindat ng kindat na lalaki sa motor. Mga nangungupit. Andami. Halu-halong mga tao. Bakit ba wala silang pakielam sa mga kapaligiran nila? Nasan na ang mga puso? Parang naglaho ! Kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan? Ngunit kapag sila'y aking tititigan. Mga laman ng mata nila'y pagod at walang determinasyon, mga simpleng pangarap lang, mga makasarili at makapamilyang hangarin. Bakit wala ang para sa bayan? Nakakadismaya. Iilan lang ba kaming nag-iisip ng ganito? . Sa totoo lang, gusto kong kumilos, ngunit wala akong laban sa libo libong makasariling kaisapan. Bakit ang mga nasa pwesto ay di matutong lumugar sa kanilang kinalalagyan? Nasaan na ang palabra de Honor at kung ano pa mang dignidad. Nakakapanghina, iilan na lang ang may tatag na katauhan. Sila rin naman ang makikinabang. Bakit ba kasi hindi tayo matutung kumilos? Bakit puro salita? Ako, mag-isa, hindi ko kaya. Ngunit kung sana tayong lahat, sanib ang ating pwersa, maari pa tayong umunlad kaysa sa Amerika. :) Nasan na ba ang pangarap? Bakit natatakpan na ito ng mga makulimlim na ulap? ...

Madami pa sana ako gustong sabihin. Mga opinyon kong alam kong walang kwenta, ngunit nais kong isiwalat. Kung sana mabasa lamang ito ng mga tao at marealize lang sana nila. Hayy. At kahit na anong gawin kong konsentrate sa ganitong sulatin. Hnd. Dahil katabi ko rito sa mga computer shop mga maiingay. Mga kabataang DOTA. Mga matatandang sunog ang kilay naghahanap ng trabaho. Mga nagpapatugtog. At kung anu-ano pa. Kulang talaga tayo sa disiplina. Kulang na kulang sa pag-aaruga ang ating bansa.. Hay..

Nahalungkat sa Net - 2nd

2011-03-25T15:49:00.000-07:00

Dito ko na lang sasabihin. Magkukubli na lamang ako sa likod mga salita. Mga salitang saksi ng bawat sakit at kabiguan. Mga salitang tanging nakakaalam na ang tapang na ipinakita ko ay balatkayo lang. Mga salitang katumbas ay luha.

Ang sabi mo kagabi babawi ka. Naghintay ako. Walang ibang laman ang isip ko buong maghapon kundi ikaw. Hanggang sa mga sandaling ito ay naghihintay ako na magparamdam ka. Ngunit sadya nga talagang kinalimutan mo na ako. Ano nga lang ba ako para sa'yo? Isang dakilang nagmamahal lang. Kahit pa sasabihin kong hindi ako humihingi ng kapalit, umaasam pa rin ako na susuklian mo ang pagmamahal ko para sa'yo.

Lalo lamang nadagdagan ang takot ko ngayong wala na ang dahilan upang manatili ka. Ang pinanghahawakan ko na lang ngayon ay ang pangako mo. Pero hindi ba, promises are meant to be broken? Iyon ba ang dahilan kung bakit ka nananahimik ngayon?

Kung aalis ka man sa buhay ko, magpaalam ka naman sana. Kasi masakit ang patuloy na umasa sa wala. Alam mo iyon. Minsan mo nang pinagdaanan iyon. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano mo nagagawang balewalain ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. Pero siguro, hindi ako kasing-espesyal o kasing importante para sa'yo.

Nasasaktan ako ngayon. Umasa ako na dadamayan mo ako sa pinagdadaanan ko. Nais ko sanang marinig ang boses mo upang kahit paano ay gumaan man lang ang nararamdamang kong bigat ng dibdib ko pero wala ka. Siguro nga, kinalimutan mo na ako. Paano mo nagagawa iyon? Maaari mo ba akong turuan? Nang sa ganon ay makalimutan ko rin na nasasaktan ako dahil sa'yo.

-masakit nanaman.. Hindi ko lam kung nakakarelate ba ako. Pero hnd ko alam talaga. Masakit lang. Dama ko lang ung sakit nung nagsulat nito.. :'(

Nahalungkat sa internet. :')

2011-03-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Maari ba kitang yayain sa isang natatanging paglalakbay pabalik sa aking nakaraan? Isang yugto sa aking buhay kung kailan nagmahal din ako at nasaktan. Isang kahapong humubog sa kung sino at ano ako ngayon.

Nais kong ipakilala sa'yo ang aking sarili. Upang maintindihan mo na hindi ako dating ganito. Iniisip mo siguro na wala na akong ibang alam gawin kundi ang umiyak at maging mahina. Umaasa akong sa pagbabalik natin sa aking nakaraan ay makikita mong naging matapang din ako. Na hindi ako laging mahina. Na minsan ay nagtiwala din ako ng lubos ngunit ako ay nabigo. Na minsan ay ibinigay ko ang aking puso sa isang lalaki at umasa ako sa pangako niya.

Kung nakilala mo siguro ako noon at naitanong mo sa akin kung ano ang kahulugan ng salitang "forever", iisang pangalan lang ang isasagot ko sa'yo. Ang pangalan niya. Ngunit napagtanto kong ang "forever" pala ay hindi totoo. Minsan pa nga ay ginagamit lamang ang salitang ito upang magbigay ng isang pangakong walang katuparan. Walang katotohanan at walang kasiguraduhan.

Sana sa pagbabalik natin sa aking nakaraan ay naiintindihan mo na ako. Kung bakit ako ganito ngayon. Kung bakit natatakot akong mawala ka sa akin o kaya ay magsawa kang intindihin ang kakaibang takbo ng aking utak. Natatakot akong mapapagod ka sa paghihintay ng aking pagbabalik. Palagi akong insecure hindi dahil nagdududa ako sa pag-ibig mo, kundi dahil nagdududa ako sa kakayahan kong mapasaya ka. Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, pag-ibig mo na lang ang natitirang magandang bagay sa buhay ko.

Hindi na ako naniniwala sa "forever" ngayon. Ang pinaniniwalaan ko na lang ay ang puso ko. Dahil palaging sinasabi nito na mahal kita. Madalas kumukontra ang isip ko pati na ang mga tao sa paligid ko. Pero hindi nadidiktahan ng sinuman ang bawat tibok at bawat pintig dahil lahat ng iyon ay para sa'yo na.

At kung tatanungin mo ako ngayon kung gaano kita kamahal. Iisa lang ang isasagot ko sa'yo. I love you more than all of me. More than every breath. More than every heartbeat. Umaasa akong ganon ka din. Sana.

- nalungkot ako nung binasa ko yan.. Hehe. Dama ko talaga ang sakit. Dama ko yung paghihirap. Dama ko yung pagmamahal. Maging ako umaasa din. Umaasa... :']

In Silence

2011-03-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

You are the reason of my happiness.
As well as the subject of my weakness.
I know I am to blame of my own sadness.
But poor me, I don't know what to do next.

During sad times, I'm trying my best to smile.
But for now let me just be true for a while.
Like alice in wonderland, I'm drown in my tears.
Oh I hope you are here helping me conquer my fears.

Like the thin wind that blows upon my hair.
In dark shadows where I wish you still care.
Clashes of thunders, storm of tears raining.
Pain and everything I am silently screaming.

Back on Blog :)

2011-03-23T13:47:00.000-07:00

It's been so long since I last blogged. Lots of things happened within just a short span of time. I got lots of stories to share. I got lots of poems to create.

I have been struggling over my life. I have many achievements within these months. And the greatest of them all, is that I've been in love. For the second time in my life, I feel great. He led me to the path I am proudly walking on. With him, I conquered many things. With him, I have come to known the other side of me. I never knew I would be this weak when I'm in love. I never knew that with just one person, my world could go on. I never thought I would deprive myself from talking with different persons, but now I gotta limit myself and devote all of my spare time with him. I never felt this strong. I have felt different emotions. Day by day, I'm scared. Scared that he would leave me and choose another woman over me. I am experiencing great jealousy. and I never knew I am the jealous type at all -_- . And so lots of things still going on my heart. There are also many things going on my mind right now.

And Ohh, this is getting longer, gonna stop. :)

-

I missed blogging . :')

Promise

2011-03-23T13:26:00.000-07:00

I was so empty before, till you came.
You filled me up with the love that was never the same.
You made me feel like everything is in place.
Funny how my love for you grew just in days.

Baby come on, hold my hand and never let go.
I wanna let you know again and again that I love you so.
Babe we're going on a journey just the two of us
Let's make every moment and the magic last

The pain and the sorrow, I can take it.
As long as you're with me, I can make it.
And when promises are meant to be broken.
Promise me you'll never love me again.

Someday

2010-12-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

A rainbow without rain.

A love without pain.

A true smile that radiates.

A true bliss that elates.

The world is innocent.

So better not be silent.

Release your voice.

Dance and rejoice.

Someday your wishes will be heard.

All your fears will be conquered.

Someday miracles will happen.

And hearts won't be broken.

Someday the thorns won't prick.

No one would be weak and sick.

Someday life will change like a magic.

No one will end up tragic.

Lead our hopes in that someday

Until then stay strong and pray.

Nothing is impossible.

Everything is possible.

Nagising na

2010-12-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

Ilang araw na ba ang nakalipas?
Simula ng aking talikuran ang landas
na tinatahak kong akala ko'y mabuti,
yun pala'y dulot sakin ay pighati.

Wala ng makakapagpabago pa sa nakaraan.
Ganun rin sa desisyon kong ika'y talikdan.
Nakipagkaibigan at sumama ako sa iyo,
sa aking buong akala na sasaya ako.

Hindi ko inintindi ang mga sakit noong una.
Ngunit nang nagtagal hindi ko na maiwasang lumuha.
Sinuway ko ang aking mga magulang,
upang sa iyo lamang ay huwag magkulang.

Ngunit anong iyong ginawa sa akin,
walang awang ako'y iyong inalipin.
Ngunit ngayon nagising na ako sa katotohanan,
na ika'y isang kalokohan lamang.

Badly Missing You IV

2010-12-02T06:50:00.000-08:00

Just a few moments ago,
I’ve called you.
And when you said hello,
I became a statue.

I never imagined that I really have missed you.
Never thought it was so true.
If only you knew,
how hard this pain I’ve been goin through.

Second by second that I’m hearing your voice,
made me stand up from my seat and get a tissue.
For I look like an idiot crying in rejoice,
now wiping these tears, thinking of going to you.

As if we were in a fairytale, fighting in full scale.
Making our dreams come true, making us breakthrough.
All throughout I just want you to know that this tale,
would never ever end even with a simple I love you.

Badly Missing You III

2010-12-02T02:55:00.000-08:00

It ’s so refreshing to my eye,
that I can't help but cry.
Because it's 7:30 am and I can't see you,
no presence at all, no hi, no hello, no you.

I was looking for you.
I was searching for you.
But we are miles away,
that I couldn't accept this way.

Sometimes I asked myself if there's really forever,
then I remembered those times we've been together.
While reminiscing those memories, I’ve come to know the funny answer.
It is being with you is the meaning of my forever.

Badly Missing You III

2010-12-01T14:38:00.000-08:00

Now how I wish I could see you,
for my soul is getting bluer and blue.
Without you I’m terribly terrified,
and gotta be ok if you were just by my side.

Thinking of what to do, I sit down in my chair.
I get the calendar and count the days.
I counted and counted, till then I wasn't aware,
that tears were falling so fast as if there was a race.

Soon as I noticed, I wiped these tears streaming in my face.
Then I remembered how you wiped my tears from those days.
I was so freaking hurt coz I want you again to wipe these tears,
how I hope you were here to stop these conquering fears

I was crying so hard that even my breath can’t take place…
I was so scared, so afraid, so much that I need your embrace...

Badly Missing You II

2010-12-01T05:34:00.000-08:00

As lay in bed,
I can’t get rid of this habit,
which is thinking of you.
And I wonder why in any circumstances,
I simply can't get rid of this feeling
which is missing you.
Even if I reach out to the moon,
the sun won't still shine for me.
I wonder if I can fix this tune,
so I can hear no stops in the cd.
In short I want no blocks,
for I’ll destroy all locks,
that keeps you in a distorted cage,
and keeps me disturbed in stage.
I want to see you,
and that's because I miss you.
And that's reason why I need you.
And it's all because I love you.

Badly Missing You I

2010-11-30T11:04:00.000-08:00

As I open my eyes from sleep,
I saw no you that made me weep.
Those days that we both spend together,
is long gone just fast as a feather.

Now my heart aches so badly.
As I feel so broken and lonely.
I hate it, today and tomorrow.
As I continue to feel this sorrow.

And at this very second I’m crying and it's all because I love you too much.
I am so weak and vulnerable that I want and absolutely need to feel your touch,
to the point that I’m so helpless that I can't restrain myself from missing you.
And this drives me insane that I want to spend every single day of my life with you.

I miss you!

share ko lang. =]

2010-11-25T10:44:00.000-08:00

Malapit na ako magtapos ng highschool. Magcocollege na ako next school year. Ang bilis ng panahon. Mag-gagraduate na ako after 3 months time. Hayy. Kararaan ko lang sa napakadaming bagyo at pagsubok. Isa na ruon ang pagkuha ng UPCAT. Madali lang kung tutuusin. Kulang lang talaga sa oras. Kaya naprepressure at hindi nakakasagot ng matino. Bukas naman, USTET kukunin ko. Wala akong napag-aralan. Kasalanan ko rin naman kung hindi ako makapasa diba? Pero hindi ko talaga kasi alam kung anu ang pag-aaralan. Wala akong ideya. Kaya hihintayin ko nalang ang bukas na dumating at magdadasal nalang ako sa Diyos na sana makapasa ako. At hayy naku, isa pa tong mga magulang. Iniisip ang kanilang kahihiyan kapag hindi ako nakapasa. Kasalanan ko parin ba yon? Kung yun ang kaya ko, bakit hindi nila tanggapin. Nag-eexpect na naman sila. At eto naman ako nababagabag sa mangyayari. Ayoko sila ma-disappoint pero higit sa lahat ayaw ko namang ma-disappoint sarili ko. First section ako, hindi sa pagmamayabang. Pero nakarating ako dun dahil mahilig ako mag-recite at ma-vocal ako. Pagdating sa written, loser ako. Kaya kinakabahan ako. Ano na lamang gagawin ko? Hayy. Sana lang talaga makapasa ako dito. Dahil yung UPCAT at USTET lang kinuhanan ko ng exam. Kung hindi pa ako makapasa, san na lang ako pupulutin. Hayy, Hakuna Matata nalang. :)

He's gay.

2010-11-21T14:19:00.000-08:00

I've been a maiden in-love for months.
And just a while ago have I turned to a fallen angel.
I liked him so much and I thought I had the chance.
But it's all false, he's damn gay, what a great epic fail.

Sadness lingers in my heart, disturbance is created within my soul.
I'm shattered, I never knew I was such a turtle, been so slow.
He was so sweet to me that I thought I was playin d girlfriend role.
And now I know, I was such a feeler, carried away with the flow.

Now at house, I stomp over things, screaming "He's gay! He's gay!"
I don't know what to do, I can't understand why and how,
He's so damn masculine and attractive that he would always make my day,
but now it's no more, it's over, and again it ended, another failed vow.

Screw gays who won't tell the truth. Pssssh :(

With a Player

2010-11-17T08:14:00.000-08:00

I hate liars, users, posers, betrayers,
but sometimes I mostly hate damn players.
They play with you and all,
makin you fall for nothing at all.

You got to test that person first,
before his real intentions burst.
And when at last the time comes I have proven it
I realized I was just stupid as it is and so damn it

Out of this throbbing ache knowing I was completely treated as a fool,
I furiously came out of my silent shell with burning rage losing my cool.
Yet I am an educated woman, so I painstakingly freed that boy from prison,
and so in the end even though I know he deserves it, to God I left the decision.

I guess it's too much to expect to have a serious relationship.
It's like holding on to a slippery pole to survive in a sinking ship.
I hope the next time I fall in love even if it's merely an infatuation,
I won't experience any agony nor pain for a change in situation.

You Player: by Ren Concha

Fusion I

2010-11-15T10:50:00.000-08:00

I regard my hobbies as my very own passion.
That's why people told me I have a weird obsession.
But I don't care, I'm happy and it's because of various reasons.
They are my true friends, their presence shines in all seasons.

I play drums and never get tired of it each session.
I love cute stuffs, anime, manga, in short I am an otaku in action.
I dream of being a president, I am afraid of no cautions.
I am a creature of grandeur, I won't be someone of foolish treasons.

Before I was such a little bitchy girl with fair complexion.
Now I am a big matured girl who changed because of devotion.
Looking back in the past of my life which I colored with crayons,
It transformed with rainbow colors and is now full of stars of zillions.

With those little things in life I set my eyes with admiration,
I never thought of those as my secret obligation.
This passion was made out of my pure and untainted dedication.
And thus set my humble declaration.

It was my lone intention not to be someone of the world's pollution.
That's why I have made no violation of rules, no need for negotation.
I am the one and only product of the universal collision.
I seek of the one and only truth of reality's illusion.

Fusion I: by Ren Concha

Shy Man's Toughness

2010-11-14T02:49:00.000-08:00

under the table?

inside the trash can?

Wherever you are, no matter what happens, I'll still find you and get you back into my arms again~ ♥

~~

You are different from the other girls I've met,
In my whole life, you were the first to touch my soul.
Things have gotten good, bad, better and worst,
Yet you never showed weakness neither pain nor hesitance.

I am enlightened, to think that someone like you still exists.
In this world, I couldn't find anyone better and best than you.
You are my red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.
You completed the colors missing in my lone white and black world.

It may seem cheesy, but I wonder how can I say this to you.
I never did confess in my whole life, and later, I am about to.
I am afraid you reject me, I am afraid you don't even like me.
That's why I'll wait no matter how long, for this infatuation to bloom into love.

So, sorry if I was harsh in any way, but I need to be tough.
Cause a man like me is shyly, madly and truly in love with a woman like you.
So, even if I crash the places you are hiding from,
And steal you from your silent and frightened shell,
Don't be afraid, I won't make you cry, I won't harm you, I won't bite, because I respect you.
I love you <3

Shy Man's Toughness: by Ren Concha

Build A New World

2010-11-13T03:36:00.000-08:00

Too much hardships and difficulties may cause us pain.
But it is never the reason to stop searching for what it meant.
We must keep on standing, fighting, again and again.
Because time is precious, we must cherish each moment.

Everyone knows how painful is it to start anew.
But to succeed, to feel happiness, let's rebuild a new future.
Let's not waste our time being blue.
Hope and faith will keep us moving for sure.

Each coming day is a new beginning.
Believe, don't stop believing, it comes with magic.
Fly and flee upon the sky, go on soaring.
Let's go on with the flow and follow the beat of the music.

Build a New World: by Ren Concha

RollerCoaster~

2010-11-12T01:20:00.000-08:00

Treat today like it's a ride on your favorite rollercoaster. It's thrilling! It's exciting! It's kind of scary! The closer you get to the top, the scarier it is! You may or may not be aware of the sounds of seagulls, cotton candy vendors and the ocean. You may or may not feel your stomach about to hit the top of your mouth. You may or may not scream. One thing is for sure though: Once you've climbed to the top, there is nothing you can do to stop the ride. Whee!

Sa lahat ng Friendships sa Mundo~

2010-11-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

You're the Apple Of My Eye,
Mango Of My Pie,
Palaman of my Tinapay,
Keso of my monay,
Teeth of my suklay,
Finger of my kamay,
Tagasunog of my kilay.
Blood in my atay,
Bubbles of my laway,
Sala of my bahay,
Seeds of my palay,
Clothes in my ukay-ukay,
Calcium in my kalansay,
Calamansi of my siomai,
Vitamins in my gulay,
Tungkod when I'm pilay,
Feeling when I'm high,
Shoulders when I cry,
Cure to my aray!
In short, you're my friend habambuhay! XD

LOVELOTS, you ALL~!

Colors

2010-11-11T02:26:00.000-08:00

colors XD

Sun is yellow-orange.
Sky is soaring blue.
Trees are green.
Trunks are brown.
Flowers are violet.
Smokes are gray.
Some souls white.
Some souls black.
Tears are purely clear.
Blood is purely red.
Love is flushing pink.
Rainbow has indigo.
And Life is full of colors.

Acknowledge Life

2010-11-06T10:25:00.000-07:00

Life goes down, life goes up
There's no such thing as crap
We need to accept things as they are
Unless we do want a bloody war

We got so many choices to believe in
but we got such tiny faith to use from within
We walk many paths, we cross many bridges
But some gave up and wasted many chances

Let's get our spirits high cause we must stand up and fight.
Let's gather all the courage and go on through many lengths.
Cause life doesn't end that simply, we must collaborate and unite.
There's so much more in this world left to see with our own strengths.

Walk like a princess, gallantly but don't trip, it's a shame.
Flee through the sky, escape but don't evade, it's a knowledge.
Run as if you've just been freed from a cage, don't think it's lame.
Pause and stop, as if all freezes, then search for the message.

Acknowledge Life: by Ren Concha

Treat me as a Woman

2010-11-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

I look like a girl with matching long hair and stuffs. Just no make-up.
But either way, no one particularly cares. After all, I'm just a big fat loser.

I act like a boy, and people got used too it.
I got pretty used to it too. But things are going too far.

Boys think as if that it's okay to hurt me (physically) cause I'm strong, cause I'm not like those usual girls.
And damn it hurts me. When they actually punched their hungry fists to my shoulders, it actually hurts.
I don't feel the pain physically but I was emotionally dumbfounded.
I just felt like I want to cry but I thought it was ridiculous.

Ughh. For once in my lifetime, I want to be treated as a girl, as a woman, I want to feel it. And it sucks since it's impossible with me now.

~~

Treat me as a woman, like a girl you've always known.
Treat me as a girl, who have been wanting to wear a gown.
Don't look up upon my strength, cause I'm truly weak.
So why don't you try to know me first before you speak.

Treat me as a woman, like a usual girl who has mixed emotions.
Treat me as a girl, who wants to be protected from cautions.
Don't just punch me and think it's okay; Be more mindful.
And most of all choose your words to say; Be more careful.

Life is a little short, make me feel loved.
Life is pretty unfair, but don't be unreasonable, don't ever run.
Life is a little scary, make me feel secured.
Life is pretty chaotic, but don't forget, I'm still a woman.

Treat me: by Ren Concha

Haaaaaappy Hallloooweeeen~!

2010-10-31T15:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloweeeen~!

May souls be blessed~!

If I can Just Withdraw my Farewell

2010-10-22T14:55:00.000-07:00

I wish I had never said farewell.
It made me sad since you never did tell,
what you really feel, what you really want
All this time, I wish you'd be blunt

I am sad, goodbyes do hurt too much
Now I know, now I fall, who's to catch?
Poor me, left alone with sullen wishes
Pity me, slowly dying to ashes.

Sitting near the fire I continue to think
Whether it is right to go off and sink
I wonder if I just need to let go, stand and move on
Or if I can't do it, so just sit back, relax, and wait on...

If I can Just Withdraw my Farewell: by Ren Concha

Deprived

2010-10-13T17:25:00.001-07:00

Failure from a test,
deprived from nature's best,
left with discrimination among the rest.

Loads of potential within me
No one has ever appreciate nor see.

Acknowledgment, I need more.
Love and Care, I long for.
Waiting for someone to open my door.

Whatever nonphysical things I do want,
Yes it comes to me, but scant.

It is painstakingly hard to continue leading this harsh way.
Every step leaves a scar that won't stop hurting even a day.
Agony and anguish, grief and sorrow, only the eyes do portray.

Whenever happy or unhappy, it doesn't matter, people don't care
In this huge world, I don't belong, I don't have a share.

Deprived: by Ren Concha

Torment of a Night

2010-10-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Love at first sight
Enjoy at one night
Trust of the foolish woman
Disgust of the playful man

A loitering shadow
Reflection near the window
Fantasies at dark
Fire with no spark

Tormented Soul
Blackening Charcoal
Jinx and Hades
Cutters and Blades

Torment of a Night: by Ren Concha

College.

2010-09-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am near college.
I think its so far away from me.
I am just a girl who considers herself as a woman who just turned 15 last 3 weeks and 6 days (dunno if correct) :))

I am taking UPCAT.
and USTET.

for the UP College of the Philippines.
and the University of Santo Thomas Philippines.

HOPE I CAN PASS! ^/////^
Please support and help me! >TTT^TTT

the exams here in abroad are held in OCTober 11 at IPSJ (International Philippine School in Jeddah)

PLEASE HELP ME GOD and friends!

Clutter

2010-09-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

Never easy, never hard. it's just a matter of mindset.
Just like how you open a slippery or rusty faucet.
It's just a matter of a can do or can't do.
Strong resolve, strong will, courage and determination will do.

Life is just a complicated web with many holes.
In different lives, we come to play different roles.
I wonder why some can't bring themselves to accept
that we are all meant to experience the consequences of going right and left.

Let's see what we are meant to be, what we can, our potentials would be.
Let's go on, move forward, chin up, chest out, let's not flee.
Why not try to believe in ourselves and have confidence?
Be proud, stand strong, smile happily and to your old bad self say condolence.

Clutter: by Ren Concha

Poetry

2010-09-13T18:23:00.000-07:00

"Poetry makes nothing happen;

yet, men die miserably every day for lack of what is found there."

Poetry is simply a couple of words in a beautiful pattern and rhythm which implies a deeper meaning in within. Playing along the lines of the poems are different emotions, different feelings, and different thoughts. The most usual thing that you can find or see in a poem, is the wonderful meaning of life. In the quote it says that poetry makes nothing happen. It seems true since it's just a language of the heart and mind, yet men die miserably everyday for lack of what is found there because in poetry you can see, feel, and understand the inner beauty and grace of life. Maybe you know that nothing happens; yet unconsciously, your soul is gaining something valuable, something significant, something beautiful. Usually when we read poems, we can relate, and as the poem goes on, as the rythms flow, we can feel better inside. It can heal some pain or aches in our hearts, it makes us smile while reading it as we find it amazing, it touches not only our heart, amazes not only our mind but as well as our inner soul. It lifts up our spirits, we can find hope, faith and inspiration in between the lines. It can change some of our looks, points and views about life; it can even change something inside us. Yet still, it can't help that some may not appreciate or will find it just a waste of time. In the quotation, the phrase 'men die miserably' is just like a flower that you cared for and just withered. It's similar to that because the flower is just like our life and everyone cares about their own life. Understanding poems, going deeper in the field of poetry is like you're going into the another dimension of the world you're living in. You'll find figments of different things not found in your real world. It's like an adventure or a journey that is within the lines. It's even miserable if a man really die without even seeing or knowing the thing found beyond the verses of his life.

(some article i made around 2007 i think, found from my old stuffs, just sharin it out here.)

Radiance

2010-09-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

You have awaken this bright radiance from inside of me.
Just with one little kiss, you've won my heart so easily.
Isn't life too predictable and insane?
With one word "love" everything is around the lane.

In just one circle where only the two of us is inside,
A power in within shines off so brightly that we can't see the line.
It's just like a ribbon that's cut to half leaving us aside.
To conquer the very rest till the skyline.

Beneath, behind the clouds, I hope he is standing there (God).
Watching us together grow as time is passing.
With him just smiling up over there.
As he found our little story amusing.

Radiance: by Ren Concha

My Queen

2010-09-09T11:02:00.000-07:00

You are my queen
In our castle unseen
Only the two of us is the king
In the kingdom we are dreaming

Be at ease, Our dream will come true
I know you'll love it I promise you
Harmony and peace we will experience
Love in the atmosphere at silence

Those days are soon my queen
As for now I'm your servant whom you can lean
Be carefree and rule me my mighty love
For I'm forever yours my belove

My Queen: by Ren Concha

Who Am I? 01

2010-09-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

I am asked of what's my purpose.
I am questioned of my value.
I may be dead because of love.
Otherwise, it may be because of hatred.
Do you know who am I?

I am always hated,
always judged.
They say I'm cruel,
and so unfair.
Do you know who am I?

I may be in a state of darkness,
but I may be lead in light.
I may look distorted,
but my beauty will never vanish.
Do you know who am I?

Many tried to save me.
But many continuously tries to kill me.
Many keeps on destroying me,
but many still tries to change me.
Do you know am I?

I may be full of pain,
but I am also full of happiness.
If you can just find the courage,
to start over again and seek it.
Do you know who am I?

---

I am "Life"

if you figure out why,
here's a thought,
What do you commonly hear from people about what life is?

Part 01, Who am I (Life): By Ren Concha =]

I'm Sorry

2010-09-07T08:21:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but I can't feel it.
No spark, no flame, all pieces won't fit.
It's plain emptiness like in space.
It is the truth, puzzling, like in maze.

I hate that truth, for it is confusing me.
But everything isn't going smooth, it's tiring me.
So don't blame me if I walked away, closing my eyes.
I have to leave you astray and break our ties.

Yes, I'm Sorry, but I can't dig deeper, I can't do it.
I can't make up a lie and make you fall for it.
I like you, you are like my sister but that's all.
Nothing more than that, nothing at all.

Nais Magbago

2010-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

Gusto kong lumigaya muli,
pero buhay ko'y puno ng pagkakamali.
Bakit ba ang hirap baguhin?
Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Para maiba ang pananaw sa buhay.

Marami pa akong tinatago,
isa akong taong puno ng sikreto.
Gusto ko nang sabihin,
pero pano ko ito gagawin,
Kung wala namang nais makinig.

Boring, Korny, Nakakasawa.
Ayokong maniwala, tanga na kung tanga.
Kung alam lang nila kung ganu kasakit,
lahat ng sinabi nila aking naalala kahit nakapakit.
Ngayon, paano ko ba maiibsan ang kalungkutan..

Kahapon, ngayon, bukas, parehas lang.
Eksistensiya ko ay balewala lamang.
Para akong hangin hindi nila mapansinpansin.
Ni isa wala man lumalapit sakin.
Masakit, pero sa huli kailangan ko rin tanggapin..

Ngayon nakitingin na lamang ako sa kalangitan.
Nagdarasal na darating ang araw ng kaginhawaan.
Na bukas, maging isang taong kinakailangan.
Maging isang taong iyong maasahan..
Hindi na isang taong kay hirap mahalin..

o1

2010-09-01T06:14:00.000-07:00

no matter how beautiful the beast is,
i shouldn't have let myself get seduced by him.
because once i've come to my senses,
i'll lost any chance i ever had of escaping.

Ika'y sa akin, ako'y sayo, ngayon at magpakailanman.

2010-08-30T04:11:00.000-07:00

Alam kong hindi ako pinagbigyan ng tadhana.
Pero ito ako ngayon, hinding-hindi na mawawala.
Sa mata mo, sa tabi mo, sa utak mo, at sa puso mo.
Mananatili akong tapat at mapagmahal sa iyo.
Ika'y sa akin, ako'y sayo, ngayon at magpakailanman.

Korny, Cheesy, kahit ano pang sabihin mo,
Sana'y umabot ang nararamdaman ko sa iyo.
Labis na katotohanan lamang ang aking sinasambit.
Labis na pagsusuyo ang taglay ng aking awit.
Pagkatandaan mo, ika'y sa akin, ako'y sayo, ngayon at magpakailanman.

Hindi ko sasabihing iaalay ko ang langit at mga bituin sa iyo.
Dahil simula't sapul hindi ito naging at magiging akin.
Sana'y mabigyan mo pa ako ng pagkakataon na iparamdam sa iyo,
Kung gaano kita kamahal at gaano ka kahalaga sa akin.
Muli, ika'y sa akin, ako'y sayo, ngayon at magpakailanman.

Ika'y sa akin, ako'y sayo, ngayon at magpakailanman.
by Ren Concha

Video Games

2010-08-27T17:46:00.000-07:00

I love games, video games, sim games to be exact
Cause it moves my heart, lures out my teary act
Best part of it is, I can always restart every time I fail.
Many lives to use, and at least I can create my own fairytale.

So I won't stop playing, even if my hands go numb.
It's my only happiness, don't care even if you call me dumb.
I'll keep my world close, than open it and let the problems load.
I'd rather keep myself in fantasy, than in reality to abode.

Call me stupid, call me addict, call me names, it doesn't matter.
I have my own way of doing things, I'm not like you who's clever.
I don't understand complicated things and am lazy enough to do so.
Thus, I'll set my game in easy mode where there is no such sorrow.

Video Games: by Ren Concha

Bare Hands III

2010-08-27T16:47:00.000-07:00

G:
That night was exceptional, especially when we joined together
All night long, we desperately, passionately searched for pleasure

B:
Ever since that very night, there hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about you
Do you know how long I’ve waited? To be able to touch and kiss you like this again?

B:
Look just how wet you are from simple smacks and kisses
Look, just having your nipples played with, give you many ecstasies.
Look at those teary eyes of yours, it is so attractive,
Looking at me like that, I can’t really resist, it is so seductive.

B:
Now I want to make you cry, see more of your precious tears.
Let out and let me hear your most beautiful moans.
I desperately want to see that erotic sight again
Feel and taste that sweet nectar of yours once again.

G:
And now it is really becoming the same as that wonderful night
Such another great masterpiece within sight
My body is wrapped up with very sweet tingles
Just from your red-hot and spicy kisses

B:
Your eyes is clouded with so much passion
When I thrust my big stuff into you
You cried out like you were in pain.
And you sucked my cock in so tightly.

B:
Being inside you is still wonderful as ever sweetheart
That night, I thrust so deep inside you so many times
I even actually thought I’ll break you apart
But I don’t care even if it’s one of the crimes.

Bare Hands III: by Ren Concha

*NOTE: Trippings lang to. This is for fun. But I am not experienced or whatsoever. I am just OBLIGED to continue the fun from Bare Hands I. Yea, obliged, because in my school, many likes it, and they are impatiently waiting for the next part.

Play Girl 01

2010-08-27T16:46:00.000-07:00

You are too easy to predict
There's nothing left to be interesting.
It seems I am incorrect.
You don't seem to be promising.

So then I walked out from your sight
Added your name in my collection
Wandering who's next that night
For tomorrow's playful action

Yeah I'm a girl, playgirl to be exact
Just a sweet revenge for you guys
Who played and hurt us women a lot.
So then get ready for another bunch of lies.

Playgirl 01: by Ren Concha

Glimpse

2010-08-27T16:45:00.000-07:00

I seek adventure, I seek action, but what I found is romance.
I want to run, I want to escape, but destiny left me no chance.
I'm bound to this rusty chain, now I've become a prisoner of love.
I want to go, stop, be free, soar beautifully like a dove.

But life is crazy, so insane, now slowly I become madly in love.
Without knowing, I'm giving all that I have
But gradually, your presence is drifting away from me.
I'm afraid, I'm scared, now, I don't want to be free.

Being a prisoner doesn't matter to me anymore
But why, what are you leaving for?
Suddenly you left, next I'm free... now I feel so empty.
Crap fate, the hell with destiny...

Glimpse: by Ren Concha

Come to me.

2010-08-27T16:44:00.000-07:00

Remove this sweet poison within me
Come, destroy this chain binding me
Unleash the hidden power inside you
Reign then come, take me to you

Make your mind wander to the farthest of the farthest
Make your heart beat with the rate of the fastest of the fastest
Come, climb, crawl, like an almighty scorpion
Don't stop, don't give up, just come and be my greatest possession.

Now hold my hand, don't dare let me go
I'll be gone, for sure you'll be a man of sorrow
Those power, those efforts and actions you made,
Will just be a part of our little and sweet serenade.

Come to Me: by Ren Concha

Seven clash of thoughts.

2010-08-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

I am wrong.
I feel remorseful.
I really regret it.

First of all,
From the bottom of my heart,
I deeply regret.
From the depths of my mind,
I did doubt.
And all those reasons I made,
are nothing but lies.

Second of all,
I admit, I did feign ignorance.
I know, you had thought of vengeance.
But your love for me prevailed,
yet reaching me still failed.
How can I say sorry?
Will you still accept me?

Third of all,
I miss you. It's because I need you. And it is all because I love you.
That's why I was damn happy when you told me you still love me.
My mind went blank, my eyes stared into space.
Your words echoed in my mind, and so, I seriously thought about it.
But I was damn frustrated, cause my mind badly, so badly rejects you.
You know why? Because I am still trapped in the state of what you call doubt.

Fourth,
In my dictionary, it says it's still infatuation.
These feelings I have for you is transitory.
Yes it exists now, but later, surely it will be gone.
Hey, tell me, how shall I interpret this?
Am I now running back and forth inside a maze of confusion?
Because I can't find my way, the right way going to you.

Fifth,
May I know what's doubt again?
Uncertainty about the truth, factuality or existence of something?
So now going back to you, don't you have someone special already?
Goin back to me, does that mean, I am wasting efforts for nothing?
Then what's this uncertainty all about? Does the truth even involves me?
Now that I think about it, no it isn't! It became a wall that I can't even break!

Sixth,
Damn, I can't understand what I'm saying anymore.
My mind is clouded with many thoughts, they are even clashing,
can even hear them fighting.
What shall I do? I am becoming this insane.
Though this is a freestyle writing, does an ordinary human like you,
can even understand the meaning?

Seventh, lastly...
So infuriating, I can't find the right words to say.
Now, all I know is that I changed my perception.
About things, about the world, and about love.
It's hard to figure out. It is a continuous cycle of doubt and lies.
But that is what makes it interesting.
On how to make those doubts disappear, how to make those lies useful
into making one's love a profound evidence of distorted beauty.

Intoxicating.

2010-08-11T15:44:00.000-07:00

The night is so long to go.
The day is soon to finish.
What shall I do?
I just want to vanish.

Into thin air, can you feel my breath?
I'm exhaling hard, inhaling hard...
I feel like I'm near to death
Will you save from being retard?

I just feel nothing now,
I just want to die.
I'm now taking a bow
With a peaceful sigh.

Intoxication: by Ren Concha

Losing Grasp

2010-08-05T13:19:00.000-07:00

I can't conquer my weakness.
But I know God is my witness.
He knows this pain I'm going through.
He has plans for me even though I'm blue.

I lost, I am a failure and that's what I think.
But God has plans for me, and again that's what I think.
I suck, I am always negative inside,
but what i'm pretending is positive outside.

I am facing the truth, but the courage that I used
emptied all of me, I am not anymore amused.
Now I dont know what to feel.
I am just nothing, Nothing but a person from hell.

Losing Grasp: by Ren Concha

Alumni Homecoming Speech in our English Subject.

2010-07-27T10:25:00.000-07:00

my shot. :)) guess what? this shot is from a painting :))

Alumni Homecoming Speech

Good afternoon to all my fellow schoolmates, batch mates, to all the teachers, to the principal, and to the directress. Thanks for this wonderful opportunity to address you today. Batch mates, I hope you don’t mind even if today’s auspicious occasion is our reunion and teachers, fellow schoolmates, I hope you don’t mind if in any case I’m disturbing your classes. Mrs. Belma A. Regis, on the behalf of my batch mates, thanks for inviting us to our dear Alma Mater and another thanks for asking me to deliver a speech of inspiration to my fellow schoolmates. I feel privileged and happy to be standing here, representing the batch 2010-2011 and I am grateful that you could all be here this morning to listen and understand my words.

As an introduction, in case you don’t know me, my name is Ren. For starters, I would describe myself as a little wanderer in a large city, ordinary citizen in an extraordinary country, one tiny creature in the one huge universe, but look out at the future, "coz' from a little wanderer, I'm going to be an elite lawyer, from an ordinary citizen, I'm going to be the president of the country, and from a one tiny creature, I'm going to be the one who will change the world. It's not a DREAM, it's a REALITY. I’m just waiting for the season when I’ll hatch from this egg or when I’ll break through this shell. And that’s what I thought years back when I graduated from this school. Unfortunately, I am just one of the “with honors” when I graduated from high school, therefore I didn’t have the chance to express myself back then. But fortunately, you might not believe this, but what I’m going to say is nothing but the truth. I graduated in UP College or University of the Philippines in Manila as a Summa Cum Laude with the course of Business Management/Administration. In case you don’t know what Summa Cum Laude is, it is the valedictorian or the highest rank when you graduate in college, with grades ranging from 1.00-1.20 or 97% to 100%. Are you surprised? As for me, I am surprised; I can’t believe that I am the top student of this prestigious school. And this, I owe to my dearest Alma Mater, Al Hekma International School, for lighting up the flame of my soul therefore leading me to unleash the hidden potential sealed within me.

It is not as easy as you think, I worked to my bones, and I live my life like hell. Therefore, it became fruitful enough. It just justifies that if there’s no pain, there’s no gain. And again, I will be studying Law Proper in Ateneo University the next school year. Wish me luck, and hopefully I’ll graduate again as a Summa Cum Laude. In case you’re wondering why, as I said in my introduction, I want to be an elite lawyer and someday the president of the country. Therefore I must take these steps and endure all of these.

Present students of Al-Hekma, I hope you won’t forget that you will inevitably face loads of trials, hardships, obstacles, difficulties and challenges along the route of your careers, for with the honor of becoming one with your dream comes with tremendous and rattling responsibility. Remember when you achieve your goal, accomplish it with pride. Through the years, you invested your time, you polished your skills, and you have set your own goals and met each and every challenge with courage and determination to overcome those that you’ve encountered along the way. Always bear in mind that success is never measured out by fulfilling the expectations of others, but by sincerely and honestly living up to your own expectations. Moreover it is not a place at which, one can come to, but instead it is the state and spirit which one undertakes to continue his journey. In result of becoming true and honest with yourself, of becoming a man or woman of integrity, you have made through it and earned this moment with the right to be proud of your fulfillment.

One advice from your senior, while going through every circumstances in your life, use both your head and heart, not one over the other. Be balanced and fair about everything and don’t be bias. Don’t ever judge. And if you do, don’t even think that you are just observing and can’t help it. When you observe, don’t judge, but instead understand why and accept it from the bottom of your heart. If you give the people around you your respect, trust, love, friendliness, forgiveness and loyalty, you will be surrounding with people who value these qualities and return the favor back to you. If you do everything within your own principle, dignity and conviction, your thoughts and actions will reflect it. If all your words contain truthfulness and consideration, people will welcome you into their presence. If you came from a place of steadfastness, perseverance, and faithfulness, you will surely withstand any challenge and overcome any trials and obstacles. If you bring to your work diligence, excellence, enthusiasm, confidence, obedience, reliability and modesty, your work will show it and your livelihood will prosper.

I am hoping and expecting that you will all live your lives to the fullest, to your hearts’ content and to take the course of life that will guide and lead you to your desired destination. For your futures, I hope you won’t be discouraged and continue on pursuing your dream and make it real. I hope you won’t think that there’s any limit to your success, because even the mighty sky is not the limit. You can make it, just attempt and try hard and most importantly, pray to God.

Remember that some may try to negatively influence you. So you must be aware of the dangers and temptations of the world. Be confident and follow your own lead. Stand up for what you believe, and listen to your own voice. Have faith and know you are never alone.

Finally now, I’ll share you my essay. Life runs along the way, last for miles, but as for some it cuts short, and for others so short. So let's look ahead. With our wishful dreams and hopes for the future. The darkness of sorrow, the light of happiness. The swift breeze of morning, the warm atmosphere of noon. And now we've come across the path. All things we ought to know, now full of doubts. Tears fall so heavily yet no one sees. Cries, echo, ears itself can't hear. Broken hearts all around. Shatters and fall all around us. As they fall to their knees, clutching their chests and weep in pain, does no one see? Both broken life and broken dream? As we are a part of nature, the sky cries a broken song, as we cry along to its shattering melody, studded rhythm and of a once beautiful love song. And as our relationships broaden there comes our friends. Friends may come and go, some move along with their lives, leaving us behind. Yet some stay and never let go. Hands reach out as others never even try. And everyone has a family. A father that holds a young and talented daughter. A mother that holds a strong and proud little boy. The future's bequest that they do see yet you do not see. The world turns and spins. And in the middle is where we stand. In a twisting web, a tree of life.

To my fellow batch mates, classes of Neon, Nickel, and Nitrogen, “Be happier than ever, live a healthy life! Thanks to you, my life is pretty messed up before and fun right now.”

To my teachers and the new ones, “Thanks for showing me the world in front of my eyes, I hope you’ll continue to inspire more students!”

To my fellow schoolmates, one phrase to all of you, “It is your time to shine!”

(Thank you)

-created by Ren.

[P.S. i'm just a 4th year highschooler right now :))]

Playing The Game of Life

2010-07-05T13:21:00.000-07:00

It's not whether you win or lose, its how you play the game.

Playing The Game of Life

Along with choosing your the goal of your life, you get to choose how you will play the game. The popular saying goes " the means justifies the end", and in this case ... how you play the game changes the game itself. Think about it. If you steal and cheat ... your life is going to be spent thinking about how to steal and cheat and avoid getting caught. And if you are caught, you are going invest a lot of time and emotions in handling the unpleasant consequences.

Why Choose To Develop & Use Virtues?

Simply put, if you develop and use virtues in your day to day life ... your path becomes smoother. People will both like and respect you ... and welcome you into their lives. It will be easy to get along with people ... and spot the ones to avoid.

It is a fact that some people just do not get it ... and they bring chaos, turmoil, drama and toxic energy and events into your life. You know the ones -- everything wrong is because of someone else.

For a bird's eye view of the virtues and how using them can improve the way you play as well as the game of life itself ... see how they help you get along better with your fellow man and thrive on the planet.

Shall we get started?

Right Concentration : If you focus your attention on peacefulness, responsibility, detachment and tolerance ... your life is going to attract people and events with these qualities into your life.

Right Relationship : If you offer the people around you respect, caring, trust, honor, love, friendliness, forgiveness and loyalty ... you will surround yourself with people who value these qualities and offer them to you in return.

Right Intention : If all your words and actions come from an attitude of service, trustworthiness, fairness, purposefulness, determination and cleanliness ... people will sense this and respond in kind.

Right Mindfulness : If you keep in mind ... and thus your thoughts and actions reflect ... idealism, reverence, self-discipline and gratitude -- you are going to attract people and situations where these virtues are valued, needed and rewarded.

Right Thinking : If your thoughts reflect your innate courage, creativity, honesty and generosity ... your speech and actions will demonstrate them to the people around you more clearly than if you shouted it from the treetops.

Right Speech : If all your words reflected and embodied truthfulness ... tact ... helpfulness ... understanding ... thankfulness ... and consideration ... people will notice it and welcome you into their presence.

Right Effort : If you come from a place of steadfastness, resourcefulness, perseverance, moderation, and faithfulness ... you can withstand any challenge and overcome any obstacle.

Right Action : If all your actions reflect the integrity, courtesy, kindness, gentleness, justice and mercy you believe everyone is entitled to ... you will get these same qualities in return from your fellow man as well as the universe.

Right Livelihood : If you bring to your work diligence, excellence, enthusiasm, confidence, obedience, reliability and modesty ... your work will show it and your livelihood will prosper.

Right Timing : If you embrace the qualities of humility, and balance patience with assertiveness, and orderliness with flexibility ... you will act in harmony with the events and trends around you.

Right View : If you view the world with joyfulness and see the inherent unity of all things ... then you will start to see a new world and heaven will appear out of thin air before you.

The most

2010-07-03T15:21:00.000-07:00

The most destructive habit: Worry

The greatest joy: Giving

The most endangered species: Dedicated Leaders

Our greatest natural resource: Our Youth

The greatest "shot in the arm": Encouragement

The greatest problem to overcome: Fear

The most effective sleeping pill: Peace of Mind

The most crippling disease: Excuses

The most powerful force in life: Love

The most destructive pariah: Gossip

The most incredible computer: Human Brain

The worst thing to be without: Hope

The deadliest weapon: Tongue

The two most powerful words: Can Do

The greatest asset: Faith

The most worthless emotion: Self-Pity

The worst thing you can lose: Self-Respect

The most satisfying work: Helping Others

The ugliest personality trait: Selfishness

The most beautiful attire: A Smile!

The most prized possession: Integrity

The most contagious spirit: Enthusiasm

The most powerful communication: Prayer

So don't give up.

2010-07-02T19:14:00.000-07:00

Don't lose hope too easily.

I believe that if you persevere,

you'll definitely succeed.

They're only two types of people.

Those who work hard

and those who don't.

I can't say I'm the strongest.

But this is my responsibility.

If you want to cry, do it in my arms.

Tell me your troubles.

If you feel insecure, I'll hold you tight.

So don't give up.

Swing

2010-07-02T00:31:00.000-07:00

Swinging makes me remember my childhood. It's so funny that I'm too happy before. But now I can't find a glimpse of real happiness in this heart of mine.

I feel like an idiot when I watch my shadow while I'm swinging up and down then I came to realize that I'm laughing and enjoying it.

Im wondering if I can do the same with life, that even though I am at the top or even down, I can still smile and enjoy the feeling. :)

You don't even deserve me. =XX

2010-06-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

╭∩╮≧◡≦╭∩╮

You lose, I win.
By Ren Concha

A thousand years is what it feels
After being ignored and now back to normal
A million tears in between those smiles
After playing dumb and now being real

Meaningless, significant imagination lingers
In this dull memory, and now purposely caters
To both mind and soul, it deliberately delivers
Telling me the unrealized truth that only matters

That a person like you isn’t even half-deserving
To someone like me who keeps on trying
To give love more than anything and everything
All left to say is, “You lose, and I win.”

_______________________________________________________________

know why? you're so stupid to not notice me.

You're such a foolish person to only ignore me,

play with me and say things that only makes me

expect something. I'm not 'feeler', but

anyone who is in my position will really

assume that way. But one thing that matters,

You lose because I really don't like you

or even loved you after all.

And I win because I hurt your selfish pride

and useless ego.

Teen Creed

2010-06-29T12:41:00.000-07:00

Words to Live By

Stick to your Values

They will guide you always to do right.

Honor your Family

They will always be on your side.

Respect yourself and Others

No one will respect you until you do.

Choose your Friends Wisely

Some may try to negatively influence you.

Exercise Caution

Be aware of the dangers and temptations of the world.

Follow your Own Lead

Stand up for what you believe,

and listen to your own voice.

Laugh Often

It's good for mind, body and soul.

Have Faith

And know you are never alone.

Basic Simple Complexities

2010-06-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

LEARNING to wake up, that is a problem within itself, literally!

As there is no lesson plan, nothing at all to conceive of, and there is no secret recipe to guide you toward enlightenment.

In fact, there is no secret at all. It is yours to have, even if you do not know it, you HAVE it, within you.

Only your mind causes it to be seemingly unattainable and even non-existent. You are asleep in your psyche and you are shrouded with a veil that is made up of patterns of your behavior. A scarf cloth of your own ideas and concepts of what REALITY is to you and as only you see is , for your reality is= MY illusion.

Your conditioned thoughts are like the dark clouds of a summer storm.
Their haze and fog have blurred and distorted your perception.
Now your view is all but camouflaged, hidden inside of your mind’s
masquerade, withing it's feaux facade is an imitation of your so-called crystal clear copies of delusions and nightmares.

You can uncover and awaken to your "other" self . You can try to separate your "other self" from yourself once again.

It is in a place inside of you, a place that is free of everything and empty of anything; and although yet it it is empty, you sense the sensation that you are filled with something you can only sense and never say.

So often it speaks to you of so many important things. It speaks to you, whispers into your ears with a voice so silently soft, that now you have grown accustomed to listening to it without ever truly hearing it.

It is necessary every once in a while, to have some sort of a conversation with yourself but I would advise you be alone and make sure that alone you stay; otherwise, you never know WHO will call WHO to come and pick you up because you are talking to your "self"..

Recognize and know it (this place) as the impenetrable abyss that is behind your mindful thoughts and then you can disentangle it from your worldly conscience.

This place in you holds something that is more to you than anything else you've ever felt and it is made up of everything else you have ever felt .

It almost speaks to me as if in another language that is all of our own. It is a language spoken from only the deepest, most reverent and innermost heart of your heart..

It is the shield of your soul and the window of your spirit.

You will feel it as the strongest/weakest, hardest/softest, thickest/thinnest, fullest/emptiest and largest/smallest part of yourself.

It can almost be described as a “void” into which eventually will fade your past thoughts, past regrettes and past lives! The dark and cloudy haze of your perception might then decide to relieve itself right on top of MY head... but if it does, then please accept my gratitude in being able to help you to clear up all that you have inside of yourself. Everything outside of you, all that you see, is seen from your eyes, perception and yourself.

Be kind to those in which you allow their energy to "enter" into yourself as your energy "exits out" and enters into them. Remember to treat others as you would want to be treated yourself and this will work for you, as this will manifest into your own true nature. It also will bring out the true nature of another just by being out itself .

Finally never, never search for truth as truth is all that you are. Do not look for enlightenment and will come to you. Many times there are things much too simple to even be considered, things much too fragile to reach out and grab.

You look too deeply into the words and you will get lost; however, if you let the words barely touch into your mind, only the words and nothing else, you will be suprised.

Leave as much as you can of yourself in a state of simplicity, and try as hard as you can not to roam far from the basics. It is the simple and most basic of things in life that has a tendency to become the most complicated after all.

copied from Think Deeply :]

AMAZING!

A Thankful Heart Is the Way to Happiness

2010-06-28T08:06:00.000-07:00

Why do people go through life looking for happiness? Dogs and cats look for food and comfort, but they certainly don't go to all the trouble that people do in their continual search for happiness. I suppose the reason is that we are the only ones who can align ourselves with the hado of happiness.

Many years ago, I had a discussion with a well-known international economist, and he said something that has stuck with me:

Why do you think people continually search for happiness? The reason is because we people have a link to unlimited existence. But many of us make a serious mistake. We set up conditions for happiness based on riches and fame, momentary pleasures, and things that are limited and always changing.

There are those who are rich beyond most of our imaginations, and yet they continue to want more as they strive in vain to find happiness. The reason it's in vain is because they are looking to find unlimited happiness in limited money and riches.

Unless we can become one with the unlimited existence, we will never find true happiness. This requires that we raise our consciousness.

All that can be seen with the human eye is of this limited world. Sooner or later, the material trappings will end, and as long as that is how we define happiness, our hearts will always feel hollow.

Of course I understand that casting aside all desire is not possible or even advisable. In fact, desire is not what's preventing us from finding happiness. An appropriate amount of desire is needed to make people strive for something better, and it's what made it possible for human society to rise to its current level. The problem arises when we become slaves to our desires. Our modern society operates on the ability to stir up desire in the masses.

It's no easy task to find happiness in a society established on insatiable desire. So what is it that we need to do to escape never-ending desire and find happiness? The answer is to have a thankful heart.

More than ever, we live in a time when love and appreciation is truly needed. And I think the right ratio for appreciation and love is 2:1 -- the exact ratio of hydrogen to oxygen in the H2O molecule!

We have seen where words of appreciation and love result in crystals of indescribable beauty. There are no conditions needed for appreciation. We can be thankful for life and for our freedom to move about.

When you align your soul with the hado of appreciation and love, a small drop of happiness will seep into your heart and spread throughout your body. This will link you to the vibration of happiness, and happiness will become a part of your daily life. And this is the secret for finding happiness right now wherever you are.

by Masaru Emoto

Isn't it amazing? To me, it is superb, indeed amazing!

I'd rather be a fool

2010-06-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'd rather be a fool and live being hurt
than to be wise and live being hated.

I'd rather love and make others happy
than to be self-serving and disappoint others.

I'd rather smile and act cheerful
than to be an emo-much and cause attention.

I'd rather look ugly, plump and simple
than to be beautiful, sexy that is being toyed.

I'd rather be clueless and senseless
than to know everything and dream an impossible dream.

I'd rather be dumb and numb in everything
than to be a feeler to something but actually I'm wrong.

Because being wise makes me think that
I'd rather be her.
She who never sacrificed anything but liked and loved my many.
She who never attracted attention but being the center of it.
She who everyone admired and adored.
She who have a thousand true friends.
She who I thought was never capable being a friend but actually the best one.
and most of all she who have the true love I never experienced before.

Best Friends

2010-06-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

Best Friends
by Ren Concha

We both have different worlds by then
But I was attracted in one thing
So I introduced my name, I'm Ren
And oh I'm amazed with her upbringing

We came to like each other's personalities
And then we laugh at each other's stories
And now we share thousands of secrets
We even have each other's pictures

Best Friends is what we are
Wishing at the same star
Having the same dream
Fighting together in one team...

Seriously.

2010-06-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

Im not a plaything.
(poem-version)
by Ren Concha

make me fall for you a million times
make my heart beat for you a billion times
make me smile for eternity
make me live in serenity

i won't fall for you so fast
but i expect you will last
i won't play hard to get either
i promise I won't be a bother

just prove me I made a right choice
let me know im not one of your toys
make a vow, dont mess with me
make a promise, don't joke with me

i'd rather smash this feeling to bits
than to be with you as a plaything
and i won't think twice i'll call it quits.
than to spend the rest of my life hoping.

by Ren

Love Intended For Everyone - LIFE

2010-06-08T06:25:00.000-07:00

Nothing is more complicated than life. But if you look at life in a different way. You'll see that life is originally easy. :) We are just blinded by our own fears and sorrows. We are just afraid to face those facts and still continue to live in undying opinions. In short our eyes are seeing not reality but illusion and our ears are hearing not truths but lies. :(

For me LIFE is GREAT
(Love Intended For Everyone)
&& a (Grand Reality Everyone's Approaching Through)
but for others they say LIFE is
CRUEL, since they
(Cant Really Understand Even Little)...

Look. People have the right to be stupid, but some people abuse that privilege. We didn't even tried to understand. We didn't even tried to pause and reflect. Some are just a couple of acting ignorant idiots. Some are so afraid to open their mouth.
Justice depends on us. We must create it, not find it.
And look, originally, no one is meant to be alone. No one is meant to suffer. No one is meant to cry. But look now, there are couple of emos and loners in society wasting their life living under the darkness. We just don't try to understand our fellow humans. We are just a couple of greedy beings thinking all about ourselves not as a whole. That's why we say Life is cruel, or Life is Unfair, and whatever damn things about life. :( Why don't we learn to open our eyes once again, and now learn the proper way to view life's perspectives. Why don't we learn to open our ears again, for us to take the pain upon hearing those truths. Why don't we learn to speak so our inner voice may really come out. Let's go back being a baby and learn how life plays again. -.-

-Ren. :)

How to make a LoveSong.

2010-06-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

The 1st part of this song, I guess
Should start with something sweet
Cause lovesongs often do, and you know me,
I'm such a geek
For songs that I can sing to you
And I'm hoping this could be one
And I hope that you would like
Me... I mean (este)... like it when I'm done

The 2nd part is easy to mess up with
Somethng cheesy
So I better choose my words cause I
Don't want it to be mushy...
Coz' that's the thing with love songs
And that's the tricky part
It's hard not to sound corny when you're
Singing from the heart

And when the chorus comes, I must come up
With something clever
Cuz For you it's just a lovesong but for me
It's now or never!
And though I tried my best to make it
Beautiful and true
I Could Never Make A Song As
Beautiful As You...

-Adopted from the song Parokya ni Edgar - How to make a Love Song.

Poem and Story, =]]

2010-06-02T08:45:00.000-07:00

BOY:

I know it was a sudden and a half-hearted decision
But the girl who'll open the door next will be my wife
It was a promise to myself to escape this prison
I hope she'll come to understand my life

GIRL:

The moment I opened the door
a face of a boy appeared in front of me
He suddenly grabbed my hand and caused an uproar
but for me it felt that it was my heart which is grabbed harshly

BOY:

Her hand is hot, perfect for my hand that's cold
I looked at her and I felt a strike of lightning
I don't want to show the pain, that's why I glared
But what is this feeling, am I falling?

GIRL:

People are deeply staring and some were glaring
And as for me, I have no idea what's happening
Then he glared at me and went closer
He whispered 'bear with me, I'm a prisoner'

BOY:

I have no choice but to tell since me being a prisoner is the truth
And as a proof here I am holding her hands, stuck with this unbearable fate
I know I'm wrong to drag her to my world but I need to go back to the root
The root of my life, and I no longer have the patience to wait

GIRL:

I was dumbfounded, I was supposed to be the prisoner here
Yet those words sent shivers to my soul
I looked at him, somehow something became clear
I want to care for him, then there I started to play the role.

BOY:

I hope she'll gladly accept the role to be my bearer
I have no chance to tell her the story of my life
But I think she understands
I hope this'll go well.

GIRL:

I know I'm going to be the bearer.
I don't know what the hell is happening
I don't know what his story is.
But I think I'll help him work things out.

BOY:

Tonight, my soul will be enlightened,
Thanks to her help, I'll be free again.
I hope nothing will become weird.
Yet I am feeling so weird.

GIRL:

After I played my role, I'll be gone.
Somewhere unknown to him,
Yet what is this feeling?
It feels that I know him for so long.

BOY:

I know it is impossible for that to happen.
But wait, I saw a birthmark in her shoulder
It was so familiar, but again
this dull memory of mine can't remember

GIRL:

Wait, I remember something,
He was my childhood friend
It was so obvious from those posters of him
My heart is in panick, I hope he'll notice

BOY:

I can't remember anything but damn,
the stage seems so long to reach enough
I feel like everything is in slow motion
What about her? What does she think?

GIRL:

I want this to finish,
I want to introduce myself to him.
Yet everything is in a slow-mo.
What about him? What does he think?

BOY:

At last, we've reached the stage.

GIRL:

At last, I can soon introduce to him.

BOY:

'Everyone, this girl beside me,
Is the girl who stole my heart.
I hope everyone will accept her.'

Damn. I can't stop myself from talking.

'Mom, dad. For 18 years of my life,
I was stuck, forced to love this girl,
who honestly, I don't have any feelings for.
And now I hope you'll accept this girl beside me,
since she is the one who changed my life.'

I wasn't joking. All of these are the truth.
She truly changed my life. The moment I held
her hands. I felt greatness in my blood.

'She saw right through my soul.'

GIRL:

What is he saying? I'm blushing here.
What is this feeling?
Why do I feel that something is pinching my heart?

BOY:

'She is my one and only childhood friend,
from 12 years ago. :) The only one who my
subconscious mind loved and still loves.'

'And along these years.
I couldn't find anyone else to love
but her. Don't blame me. Don't blame her.
Don't blame my heart. Blame my eyes.
For I can't see anyone other than her. :]'

'Thanks for listening.'

I was about to go down the stage,
yet she grabbed the microphone
and said those words.

GIRL:

'Everyone. Nice to meet you.
I hope you'll accept me.
I love this boy next to me.
He is the one who my
subconscious self loved and still loves.

What am I saying?
I'll end it here.

'Thanks for hearing me out.'

BOY:

Hearing those words makes me want to be with her for the rest of my life.
It made me remember that when we're little kids she promised to be my bride.
It wasn't impossible now, but will she accept this proposal of mine?
Now that I'm free and after I heard those, do I still need to hesitate?

GIRL:

Now we are walking again down the aisle.
The door is near, will this end so fast?
I missed him, and after seeing him, I can't let go of him anymore.
Tears start running down my cheeks.

BOY:

Now is the right time, in front of these crowd
I need to do that. Or else I'm just killing myself.
I don't like tragedies and I know this is destiny.
But why is she crying?

GIRL:

I hope it won't end this fast.
Minutes later, we'll reach the end.
Wait. Why does he stopped?
Why is he kneeling before his knees?

BOY:

I'll do this.

'Hey. Years we haven't seen each other.
Now that we've reunited, I can't take to
seperate anymore.

Your blushing cheeks, Your kissable lips
Your marble eyes, Your crystal tears
Your heart of gold, Your soul so pure,
Will you let it be mine?
No, will you be mine?

Will you be by my side forever?
Will you be my bearer forever? Will you marry me?

GIRL:

I can't believe what I'm hearing.
It's as if he was reading my mind all these time.
I won't let this end either.
And I don't care what other people would say.

'I may not be good for you. Some have changed these
past few years. But I promise you, I'll be by
your side forever.

My blushing cheeks will make you laugh.
My kiss will give you courage.
My eyes will see through you.
My heart will always love you.
My soul will be always with you.
I'll make you happy.
I'm already yours since I'm born.
And it'll be till forever.

I'll be your bearer. I'll bear your
pain. I'll bear your hardships. I'll bear your happiness.
I'll bear your sadness. I'll be there each moment of your life.
And yes, I'll marry you!'

Soul-Mate. 01

2010-05-31T00:50:00.001-07:00

Soulmate 01
by Ren Concha

Look into my eyes,
read the message
just meant for only you
"please find me"

I want you to find me,
im waiting for you,
even if I grow white hairs
you're the only one
i'm willing to be with
even after-death

I hope we could be together...
Sooner.

whoever you might be
im prepared to accept
you with all of my heart,
im prepared to love you
whatever it takes.

i only need your soul
to linger beside me.

That's all I've been waitin
for eternity.
I swear upon the name of our
love that I will love you
for infinity.

I want to soar II

2010-05-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

I want to soar II
by Ren Concha

I wish that someday the wind will change it's direction,
at the same time the water will change it's flow,
and someday at the same time, I can be the main protagonist in action,
yet I was so foolish to dream, I know.

Honestly I don't know if I'm trying my best.
I'm doing these and those but I still feel empty.
I'm desperately trying to think, but please give it a rest,
cause nothing, I can only think of nothing but things that are unworthy.

In reality, I'm useless,
in fantasy, I'm a hero
Look at the difference
There's too much to know

And actually now, I fear so much that I can't open my eyes,
I don't have any confidence to speak,
I'm afraid to listen to those words which I call lies,
I feel so disgusting that it makes me sick.

I don't have any strength to fight!
Even though I continue to live with just might
I'll still end up losing
Just like how my life right now is ending.

But I know it doesn't end here or there.
right now I'm still working with my resolve.
A resolve stronger than the strongest thing in the world.
And all left to do is to believe, have faith and win.

And I hereby promise, once again, I will soar!

Cute Doggy!!

2010-04-11T20:38:00.000-07:00

A really cute doggy! Arf Arf!

My Last Shot. =)

2010-04-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

My Last Shot
by Ren Concha

I did anything and everything,
and there's one more thing left.
I shoot, aiming for the moon
purposely missing to land among the stars.

though, I purposely missed it,
I never expected that it would land in that place,
yet, luckily, I'm thankful, coz it landed
in the place where it really belongs.

and it's not just a star,
it's where the star was born.
it is your heart, your soul that shines.
it's where it landed to.

finally with that, my last shot,
my heart which I have used to shoot
have entered the world
where it really belongs.
where it is wanted.
Where it is not forgotten.
where it is needed.
and where it is forever loved.

and as I open my eyes,
I found myself in a paradise.
beside him, beside Jesus,
as he let me know, by dreams,
what treasure I have found
in the journey, I had back on Earth...

Harapin mo.

2010-04-03T01:06:00.000-07:00

Harapin Mo
Ni Ren Concha

Harapin ang bukas;

wag matakot;

matutong magtimpi.

Labanan ang pagkatakot.

Magkaruon ng tiwala sa sarili.

Nang tuluyan mo nang

malampasan mga hadlang

Na sa kinabukasan mo'y

pilit humaharang.

Matutong tumayo sa sarili mong paa

Nang hindi naa umasa pa sa iba.

Walang mapapala kung patuloy

kang magkukubli sa isang sulok

Pilitin mong makawala sa kadiliman;

sa iyong sariling pagkabusabos.

Buksan mo ang bintana nang kalinawagan;

nang makalaya ang siyang kaluluwang batid.

Huwag magsinungaling sa sarili.

Harapin ang katotohanan.

Buksan ang mga matang may lakas ng loob;

Hanapin mo ang katotohanan na bumabalot

sa kasinungalingan.

Nang maging maliwanag;

ang daang pinapatag.

Magmahal.

Magtiwala.

Maghintay.

Magsaya.

Umasa sa walang hanggang kasiyahan.

-REN. (akin toh) ;)

Tell me How

2010-04-02T19:20:00.001-07:00

Tell me How
by Ren Concha

tell me how am i supposed to live without you
especially now that i don't even know how to forget you
tell me how am i supposed to open my eyes
when all i've been seeing is what i call lies

i was almost near to being out of life
only your love is keeping me alive
everything doesn't matter to anymore
all i want is for you to come and open the door

coz no words can express how much i've been missing you
coz no feelings could tell how much i've been wanting you
coz no words can say how much i've been needing you
and no feelings could tell how much i've been loving you...

Eleksyon?

2010-04-02T17:06:00.000-07:00

"Eleksyon ba kamo? Dito naghahari ang kasinungalinan. Lumilitaw ang mga taong sadyang mapalinlang. Tukso ay lumalapit. Pera ang katapusan ng usapan. Panalo ang may pinakamaring pera."

Kaawa-awang ating ibang mga kababayan na habang sinusulat ang pangalan ng kanilang boto'y nakangiti't taos pusong umaasa sa mga salita at kung anu pa mang platapormang pinangako ng mga kandidato. Ngunit sa kabilang kamay naghahari ang utak na maraming planong lingid sa kaalaman ng masa.

Kung iisipin ay nakakaawa rin ang mga taong nagpapagamit sa demonyo. Nang dahil sa pera. 'DAHIL SA PERA.' Magbabayad ng marami para lamang sila ang botohin. Gagamitin ang kanilang tauhan para subukang patayin ang kalaban. Gagawin lahat lahat

para makuha ang puwestong magpapayaman sa kanila.

Hindi ko tinutukoy lahat. Ngunit ang iba rin ay mapipilitang maging ganyan. Kung hindi man mapalitan, pag sila ang nasa puwesto ay tiyak kong sinasabi lilitaw ang kanilang kaswapangan. Hindi ko rin sinasabi na ganun sa lahat. Ngunit kung sa kailalim-ilaliman ng iyong kaluluwa'y ninanais mong serbisyuhan ang mamamayan ay walang alinlangan ikaw ang tanging pinunong nararapat parangalan.

Isa nating mahahalimbawa ang ating yumaong Corazon Aquino sa isang magiting na pinuno. At ang isang halimbawa ng tukso at kaswapangan sa pwesto ay ang yumaong Marcos. Nuong una'y oo, gumanda ang ating ekonomiya. Nararapat siya. Ngunit nilamon siya ng kanyang kaswapangan at nagdeklara ng isang kasuklam-suklam na pangyayari ang martial law. Kayraming tao ang nawala sa dilim.

Kawawang Pilipinas na wala nang inasenso. Mga buhay na nasira. Mga kaluluwang nasusunog sa impyerno. Mga nilalapitan ng tukso. Mga pusong umiiyak.

"Pilipinas, akin lamang masasabi. Huwag magpalinlang sa pera o popularidad. Kilatasin ang kaloob-looban ng pinunong inyong bobotohin. Huwag matakot na makitilan ng sariling buhay kung ang maililigtas ay ang isang bilyong buhay."

Ngayon, nagtataka ba kayo o natatakot sa mga magnanakaw, rapist, kidnapper, drug addict, o kung anu pa man. Kung kayo'y natatakot ipapaalam ko lang kayo rin ang gumawa ng sarili niyong multo. Bakit may rapist kung ang pinuno nang ating bansa ay mahusay magpatakbo, na magagawan pa niya ng paraan na ang bawat sulok ng distrikto ng Pilipinas mapaaraw o gabi man ay laging may nagbabantay. Bakit may kidnapper o magnanakaw kung ang pinuno ay tiyak na maaasikaso ang mga buhay ng kanyang mamamayan. Isipin bakit may mga tambay na nagiinuman na kapag malala ay nakakagawa ng mga karumal dumal na krimen kung ang pinuno ng bansa ay makakausap ang bawat pinuno ng probinsya o distrikto na bigyan ng marangal na trabaho ang mga ito. Hindi ba? Hindi lamang dahilan ang pagiging tamad. Isipin kung bakit naging tamad. At higit sa lahat nagtataka ba kayo kung bakit tayo hindi umasenso, dahil ang boses nati'y hindi iisa. Lahat ay nagsisimula sa pamilya. Eh tingnan nga natin, kung mapapansin maraming mga batang kalye na tinaboy na ng kanilang magulang. Maraming mga magasawa na laging nag-aaway na minsa'y hantong na sa pagkakaroon ng maraming kabit. Mapalinlang na simula pa. Kung ang pamilya ay ganoon paano na kaya ang buong bayan! Kaya Pilipinas simulan nating muli. Tiyak ko. Mahihigitan natin ang Amerika o Europa!

-Renlay

Awarding

2010-03-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

Just got back home. Damn it. I wasn't satisfied with my grade. I'm only a Bronze medalist. Well at least i'm best in computer skills! Anyways, I'm happy and contented. Yet thinking of being the seniors the next school year makes me anxious. I know I won't do well in calculus and in physics!

Well it makes me kinda excited since I'm a sempai (isn't it senpai?, I don't know. )

And now I promise! I'll do my best in studying! Hehehe! Wai Wai! For now, I'll sleep first. I'm sleepy. Haha!

cosplayers rock! kyaaa!!!

2010-03-24T16:15:00.000-07:00

Anime Cosplay.

Kyaaa!!!

She's so hot~

He's cool.

Damn look alike.

Gaara.

She's kinda seducing :))

Well, that's L.

Close enough right?

She's sorta pretty.

He's awesome!

I'm really into cosplays these days!

Manga Sensation

2010-03-23T23:19:00.000-07:00

nyak~ I was just reading some mangas awhile ago. . The manga I'm reading these days are all hentai or for mature. It really arouses me, because i share same name with some other character. And when they are making out, my goodness, they're calling my name so passionately! Uwaa! It gives me weird sensation ya know!?!

Learn to wait

2010-03-10T07:30:00.000-08:00

Learn to wait
By Ren Concha

Shake all those fears
Let joy replace them all
Wipe all those tears
Let your eyes call

Those feelings bitterly hidden
In your heart which is forbidden
Let your soul judge
Keep no grudge

Be not hurt
Feel no more pain
Don't let your eyes avert
Let the decision of your soul reign

Love who you want to love!
Don't stop, don't look away!
Don't just accept the other's love!
Because they'll be the one to stay!

Even if there's no little chance
Even though he says he wont
Things may change in a glance
Just learn to wait and wait!

Until the time comes that even
a bit of love is gone
But now and then
Just love only one.

Baby this won't decay!

2010-03-10T07:12:00.000-08:00

Baby, this wont' decay!
By Ren Concha

Soon we'll part away
Baby I won't forget you each day
This is no caveat in our love
Far or near your still my beloved

By the time we are far away
Our seasons will change
Our memories would replay
The weather may change
Time may slow down
Even this coldness won’t melt down
Until you say
Yet this feeling won’t go astray

Be in reality or in fantasy
Just grasp my hand and let destiny understand
Even though storms may interfere and try to destroy it desperately.
Those two souls that love may never be separated that easily

Ocean

2010-03-07T17:50:00.000-08:00

Ocean
By Ren Concha

The magnificence of the ocean is always changing,
By one look, one breath you'll see the meaning
With the sun, the waves, the weather, the season
The beauty and splendor found its own reason

As the moonlight shine in its water
You can see its reflection flicker
As the mood of the surrounding gets deeper
You’ll see, you'll feel, the one blooming flower

As seconds pass, along with this peaceful night
I can see shadows, dancing across those reflections
And as I look to my above & aside,
I saw and felt the trees, happily celebrating with us

Thoughts of ocean reminds me of you my dear,
Coz you're my moon & my star, my hope & my peace
And your love for me is my beacon that will clear
All obstacles along and seal it with a kiss.

Thanks for making me happy all this time.
Thanks for introducing me many things.
Thanks for the precious memories,
And now that we are back on this day again,
Let’s start all over again.

Seven Reasons

2010-02-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

Seven Reasons
By Ren Concha

Thanks for everything.
Thanks for the love and caring.
I appreciate it very much.

First of all,
From the first time we talked,
I thought you were one weird person,
For you asked me if I can be your lover.
Yet, I was so sad to know that you're just one
of the victims of the heart that destroys.

Second of all,
I want to show you the beauty of this world.
I want to show you what a true friend is.
I want to show you what a trust can do.
I want to show you the link that
connects the souls of humans.

Third,
I never expected that you would love me.
I never thought that you would be so sincere like this.
I never thought you're that passionate.
I never thought that you're one great person
Whom in the very first, and very end, I admired.

Fourth,
Yet, I can't return back the feelings of yours.
I'm just here receiving it, and that's what I regret.
I don't want you to get hurt. I want to do something for you,
like what you did to me.

Fifth,
Yet, I have no time nor chance to do all of that.
My moments, my seconds, my chances are
all dedicated to the person I love.
I, myself, my own can't walk away from
the person I treasured now and even before I've met you.
I regret doing this to you.
But simply I can't.

Sixth,
I know you'll understand me!
And I know that it would take a time
to really forget the feeling of love.
Yet, I know you're destined one will surely come,
and fetch you from your broken shell
and carry you to your better world
and show you beauty you've never seen.

Seventh,
When that time comes,
Expect I'm behind your back,
Pushing you through and catching you through.
While by your side is your fated person,
Laughing with you, smiling with you, enjoying with you.

Star of my Valentine

2010-02-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

Today's a "Happy Hearts Day"~!

Star of my Valentine
By Ren Concha

Sweet Valentines
Corny Pick-up lines
Romantic Date
Caramel Chocolate
Scented Letters
Huge Teddy Bears
Strawberry Cake
Blueberry Cheesecake
&&
Red Roses

Only If I can spend each little second with you
I would do anything and everything just to pursue
The happiness and joy, the smiles and laughter
We both dreamed of

This passion, sincerity and love will never fade
Even if chances, moments, and times itself forbade
Because no matter what the circumstances are
I'll bring you what you desire

Thanks, my love, for being the star of my valentine
I'm here, very grateful for this splendid time
Wondering how our fates and destinies entwine
And how our feet crossed the line

tumblr.

2010-02-11T10:52:00.000-08:00

i don't know why people got so addicted to tumblr?
it's so hard to use anyway!

PROM.

2010-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

PROM.
by Ren Concha

Excited? No, i'm not.
It's just a damn dance.

An invitation
for a little celebration.

Too much expenses
for a little experience.

Too much expectations
Then later full of discriminations.

Too much transformation,
there comes admiration.

Too much fun.
yet later done.

REPLAY(Shinee) Eng. Ver. (lovely)

2010-01-26T09:46:00.000-08:00

It's her own composition~

She made it by herself.

(Just press the PAUSE button in my music to hear the video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2yebFQqI0k

Replay (english version)
Lyrics by aozorafantasii/Lisa

"nunan neomu yeppeoseo.."
just when I thought I could go
my heart is lost and you're pulling me back again
wishing on a falling star
wish I could be where you are
somehow you came and changed my everything

*when you're not around
I just feel a little down
this is kinda silly right... it's not okay to me
and I think I'm gonna hate it boy
if you turn your back on me
I don't wanna let this go ...but I'm wondering*

how do I be careful
not to show you what I dream of
kinda crazy but I
replay replay replay
when we're together
every moment that I treasure
like a movie that I
replay replay replay

you know you're my M.V.P., no one else has got what I need
when it's just us two, I get shy but then you keep it so cool
the way you're always watching out for me
and although I wanna believe
tell me I'm not just imagining..

*repeat*

"nunan neomu yeppeo"
I don't wanna hear it no more
cause I know it's gonna
replay replay replay
keep trying not to fake it
how am I supposed to say it
you're the song that I
replay replay replay

how lovely~

are we still friends?

2010-01-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

i shall narrate a story:

Let's label it, N, L, D, M, R, J.

Once upon time. there were "best"friends who shared their opinions.
N said that she don't want that girl. L agrees too.
Then all of them agreed as well. They went too far that they wrote
the name of that girl in R's deathnote. (fake)
Then one day, it's so shocking that N & L became too close with that girl.
They have left D all alone.
The roots were R, M & J were always together.
And N, L & D were always together.
Due to some reasons, R feel that they're still connected.
Even if they're not always together, R still love them.
Till now and im pretty sure till forever.
But still going back to the topic.
The thing R & M feared from before happened.
It's about N that had a boyfriend. And her bf was the ex-bf of J.
And one day his boyfriend suddenly talked to J like kinda flirting.
So obviously J isn't at fault.
Then the next day, D told us (M, R, &J) that N called J
a "sulutera" or in other terms "mangaagaw".
Which hurts like hell since her bf is the one flirting.
Well, even if R tell N bout this, R know she won't believe her.
Another thing is I thought L & R are friends.
One day, out of the blue, N told R that L is inlove.
R is so shocked because L told us that she will find love at Philippines.
D is even the witness when she told that.
Another is, L didn't allow R to borrow her cp.
Yet R saw that N is holding her cp freely.
R was deeply hurt yet she still respects L's decision.
It really hurts ya know.
Another thing is R and L always talked about that girl.
But L ate her words. She became friends with that girl.
R noticed that both N & L ate their words.
D chose to keep quiet and just said that, that's life.
Up to now R is deeply hurt by what's happening.
After all, and could you imagine?
R, L, & N are childhood friends.
Another thing is right now they have the practice
for this battle of the bands and they'll meet in Saudia.
N and the others told M that its not allowed to bring another person.
M told R about that. Yet R, in the other hand, heard N
and the others talking and heard that L will be going with them
L by the way don't belong with the band.
By the way L and R are just neighbors. (next flat/room)
See? They only invited L. How about the feelings of R?
And the thing R hate the most about them,
is they are a bunch of liars. Both L & N.
Since D doesn't want to join us and just want to be left alone.
It's like, R is better off with J & M.
Since for R, J & M are more likely her friends.
By the way, R is me.
More and more painful things came and will come across
R's travel to the path of friendship.

-END-

Even if you read this, im sorry if you're hurt by my words.
But isn't it true?
Im just stating facts my friend.
Yet, I still wonder. Will you read my blog?
Or its still a bother. :)
then if you are lazy to read it or think that it's a bother.
You are not my friend.

What I Learned Love is

2010-01-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

What I Learned Love is
By Ren Concha

When are you going to stop crying?
Why wait for someone who isn't coming,
Why won't you see me? Just so you know,
I'm waiting for you who is waiting for him.

Just move on! You should stop!
That person won't come.
Just let me be the one to hold you tight
And make me be the one you wait for every night.

I'll take that person's spot and seat in your life.
I'll do it and I will always be right by your side.
I won't leave you like that person did.

I'll walk with you into the twilight's darkness.
I'll take your hand and make you feel happiness
Just the thought of us being together
Makes me cry tears that last forever

My heart that's seeing you like this can't take it no more
It is hurting the very same way as yours
My gaze, my eyes, my heart, and my soul that is looking at you
is the same as your gaze, eyes, heart, and soul
that looks at the seat that person left.

Can you please turn around and look at me now?
Please give me a chance too! I'll take a bow!
I'll cover up the scar that person left in you with pride.
I'll take it upon myself, making up for it forever by your side
So give me a chance...

I want to give you everything I have
And shower you with all my love
Even if you remember the painful memories
I'll definitely erase them all and throw them in seas
Where it'll continue to live on, oh how much I pray this.

How I hope you could hold this heart.
Yes I'm weak so please don't depart.
I love you this much and my heart is still like this
If you are by my side I know there's nothing I’ll miss
Even if something happens out of the blue
I can reach out as long as it is you
Even after today and till whenever
I know we'll love each other forever

With that brightest smile of yours sparkling my world
With the endless shower of flowers in my world
I curse this path that we've always walked on
Dye it with the brightest light ever live
For your sake I absolutely live and survive.
I want to do anything for you
and this was what I learned what love is.

Joys of Life

2010-01-18T12:11:00.000-08:00

Joys of Life (If only we could see what we are meant to be)
By Ren Concha

Life runs along the way, last for miles,
but as for some it cuts short, and for others so short.

So let's look ahead.
With our wishful dreams and hopes for future.
The darkness of sorrow, the light of happiness.
The swift breeze of morning, the warm atmosphere of noon.
Thousand leaves dancing at our feet.
Walking into the light of an anonymous.

And now we've come across the path.
All things we ought to know, now full of doubts.
Tears fall so heavily yet no one sees.
Cries, echo, ears itself can't hear.
Broken hearts all around.
Shatters and fall all around us.
As we fall to our knees, clutching our chests and weep in pain,
Does no one see?
Both broken life and broken dream?

As we are a part of nature,
the sky cries a broken song,
as we cry along to its shattering melody, studded rhythm
and of a once beautiful love song.

And as our relationships broaden there comes our friends.
Friends may come and go,
Some move along with their lives, leaving us behind.
Yet some stay and never let go.
Hands reach out as others never even try.

And everyone has a family.
A father that holds a young and talented daughter.
A mother that holds a strong and proud little boy
The future's bequest that they do see yet you do not see.

The world turns and spins.
And in the middle is where we stand.
In a twisting web, a tree of life.

Victim of Cruelty

2010-01-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

Victim of Cruelty (I’m human but that is all that I am)
By Ren Concha

Why was life never made easy?
I wonder when it was ever made right.
I’m human but that is all that I am.
I’m not made to live life through everything all alone.
I can't take every throw everyone's hitting at me.
I can stand only through so many before I fall.
And when I finally do...
Will everyone see all the bruises and scars they have left on me?
Then will they finally notice my tear-jerking face?
The misty confusion in my eyes?
I wonder what...
What have I done?
Was I wrong for trying to be there for you?
Was I so wrong for loving you?
I try to stand, they tripped me
I'm down, they stepped on my hands, I can't fight back.
They threw an arrow and dagger both through my heart.
And as I weep I say "I’m sorry" over and over again.
Do my words reach their ears?
Do my cries reach them at all?
They badmouthed and laugh at my back
They say cruel things that feel like a cut in my back.
I feel the hurt and the pain from the betrayal.
That is even friendship is snapping like a branch from once healthy tree.
We used to laugh and smile,
but now they throw stones and I’m left to take to the fall.
Will they notice me when I’m gone?
Will they notice me when I leave?
Cause I can no longer take the pain of them walking all over me?
If you could, would you silence the stone for me?

belated HAPPY NEW YEAR.

2010-01-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

Well~ Happy New Year!!!
it's 2010 after all.

going back to the past...
i can absolutely say that 2009
was the worst and most painful year of my life
yet the best and the most happiest of my life
coz it's When we discover our Love~ :]
simply WHEN I MET YOU~ :)

Thanks God!!!! :D

with all of my heart.

2009-12-30T16:06:00.000-08:00

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
and the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
and your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life everyday.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart...

Believe in yourself.. :)

2009-12-30T15:58:00.000-08:00

Believe in yourself
and all that you are.
Know that there is
something inside you
that is greater
than any obstacle.