Blabberings.

I am wrong.
I feel remorseful.
I really regret it.

First of all,
From the bottom of my heart, I deeply regret.
From the depths of my mind, I did doubt.
And all those reasons I made, are nothing but lies.

Second.
I admit, I did feign ignorance.
I know, you had thought of vengeance.
But your love for me prevailed,
yet reaching me still failed.
How can I say sorry?
Will you still accept me?

Third.
I miss you. It's because I need you. And it is all because I love you.
That's why I was damn happy when you told me you still love me.
My mind went blank, my eyes stared into space.
Your words echoed in my mind, and so, I seriously thought about it.
But I was damn frustrated, cause my mind badly, so badly rejects you.
You know why? Because I am still trapped in the state of what you call doubt.

Fourth.
In my dictionary, it says it's still infatuation.
These feelings I have for you is transitory.
Yes it exists now, but later, surely it will be gone.
Hey, tell me, how shall I interpret this?
Am I now running back and forth inside a maze of confusion?
Because I can't find my way, the right way going to you.

Fifth.
May I know what's doubt again?
Uncertainty about the truth, actuality or existence of something?
So now going back to you, don't you have someone special already?
Going back to me, does that mean, I am wasting efforts for nothing?
Then what's this uncertainty all about? Does the truth even involves me?
Now that I think about it, no it isn't! It became a wall that I can't even break!

Sixth.
Damn, I can't understand what I'm saying anymore.
My mind is clouded with many clashing thoughts.
What shall I do? I am becoming insane.
Though this is a freestyle writing, does an ordinary human like you,
can even understand the meaning?

Seventh, lastly...
So infuriating, I can't find the right words to say.
Now, all I know is that I changed my perception.
About things, about the world, and about love.
It's hard to figure out. It is a continuous cycle of doubt and lies.
But that is what makes it interesting.
On how to make those doubts disappear, how to make those lies useful
into making one's love a profound evidence of distorted beauty.

Playing The Game of Life

Why Choose To Develop Virtues?

• Right Concentration : If you focus your attention on peacefulness, responsibility, detachment and tolerance ... your life is going to attract people and events with these qualities into your life.

• Right Relationship : If you offer the people around you respect, caring, trust, honor, love, friendliness, forgiveness and loyalty ... you will surround yourself with people who value these qualities and offer them to you in return.

• Right Intention : If all your words and actions come from an attitude of service, trustworthiness, fairness, purposefulness, determination and cleanliness ... people will sense this and respond in kind.

• Right Mindfulness : If you keep in mind ... and thus your thoughts and actions reflect ... idealism, reverence, self-discipline and gratitude -- you are going to attract people and situations where these virtues are valued, needed and rewarded.

• Right Thinking : If your thoughts reflect your innate courage, creativity, honesty and generosity ... your speech and actions will demonstrate them to the people around you more clearly than if you shouted it from the treetops.

• Right Speech : If all your words reflected and embodied truthfulness ... tact ... helpfulness ... understanding ... thankfulness ... and consideration ... people will notice it and welcome you into their presence.

• Right Effort : If you come from a place of steadfastness, resourcefulness, perseverance, moderation, and faithfulness ... you can withstand any challenge and overcome any obstacle.

• Right Action : If all your actions reflect the integrity, courtesy, kindness, gentleness, justice and mercy you believe everyone is entitled to ... you will get these same qualities in return from your fellow man as well as the universe.

• Right Livelihood : If you bring to your work diligence, excellence, enthusiasm, confidence, obedience, reliability and modesty ... your work will show it and your livelihood will prosper.

• Right Timing : If you embrace the qualities of humility, and balance patience with assertiveness, and orderliness with flexibility ... you will act in harmony with the events and trends around you.

• Right View : If you view the world with joyfulness and see the inherent unity of all things ... then you will start to see a new world and heaven will appear out of thin air before you.

The most destructive habit: Worry

Why do people go through life looking for happiness? Dogs and cats look for food and comfort, but they certainly don't go to all the trouble that people do in their continual search for happiness. I suppose the reason is that we are the only ones who can align ourselves with the hado of happiness.

Many years ago, I had a discussion with a well-known international economist, and he said something that has stuck with me:

Why do you think people continually search for happiness? The reason is because we people have a link to unlimited existence. But many of us make a serious mistake. We set up conditions for happiness based on riches and fame, momentary pleasures, and things that are limited and always changing.

There are those who are rich beyond most of our imaginations, and yet they continue to want more as they strive in vain to find happiness. The reason it's in vain is because they are looking to find unlimited happiness in limited money and riches.

Unless we can become one with the unlimited existence, we will never find true happiness. This requires that we raise our consciousness.

All that can be seen with the human eye is of this limited world. Sooner or later, the material trappings will end, and as long as that is how we define happiness, our hearts will always feel hollow.

Of course I understand that casting aside all desire is not possible or even advisable. In fact, desire is not what's preventing us from finding happiness. An appropriate amount of desire is needed to make people strive for something better, and it's what made it possible for human society to rise to its current level. The problem arises when we become slaves to our desires. Our modern society operates on the ability to stir up desire in the masses.

It's no easy task to find happiness in a society established on insatiable desire. So what is it that we need to do to escape never-ending desire and find happiness? The answer is to have a thankful heart.

More than ever, we live in a time when love and appreciation is truly needed. And I think the right ratio for appreciation and love is 2:1 -- the exact ratio of hydrogen to oxygen in the H2O molecule!

We have seen where words of appreciation and love result in crystals of indescribable beauty. There are no conditions needed for appreciation. We can be thankful for life and for our freedom to move about.

When you align your soul with the hado of appreciation and love, a small drop of happiness will seep into your heart and spread throughout your body. This will link you to the vibration of happiness, and happiness will become a part of your daily life. And this is the secret for finding happiness right now wherever you are.

by Masaru Emoto

Isn't it amazing? To me, it is superb, indeed amazing!

Victim of Cruelty (I’m human but that is all that I am)
By Ren Concha

Why was life never made easy?
I wonder when it was ever made right.
I’m human but that is all that I am.
I’m not made to live life through everything all alone.
I can't take every throw everyone's hitting at me.
I can stand only through so many before I fall.
And when I finally do...
Will everyone see all the bruises and scars they have left on me?
Then will they finally notice my tear-jerking face?
The misty confusion in my eyes?
I wonder what...
What have I done?
Was I wrong for trying to be there for you?
Was I so wrong for loving you?
I try to stand, they tripped me
I'm down, they stepped on my hands, I can't fight back.
They threw an arrow and dagger both through my heart.
And as I weep I say "I’m sorry" over and over again.
Do my words reach their ears?
Do my cries reach them at all?
They badmouthed and laugh at my back
They say cruel things that feel like a cut in my back.
I feel the hurt and the pain from the betrayal.
That is even friendship is snapping like a branch from once healthy tree.
We used to laugh and smile,
but now they throw stones and I’m left to take to the fall.
Will they notice me when I’m gone?
Will they notice me when I leave?
Cause I can no longer take the pain of them walking all over me?
If you could, would you silence the stone for me?

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
and the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
and your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life everyday.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart...

another unpredictable day had passed.
new problems appeared.
new challenges to defeat.
new difficulties to overcome.
im trembling with excitement,
yet agitated and frightened
another fire had began.
another sparkle added to the flame.
another moment to cherish
another lesson to learn
another pain inflicted
another smile flickered
another twinkle in the eyes
another truth between lies
another determination built up
another fighting spirit lit up
another fears ahead
another tears to shed
new feelings to be encountered
new meanings to be discovered
a new priceless thing to gain
an endless shine of sun after the rain :]

having butterflies in the stomach and nervousness
is different from
being calmed and reassured!
heart skipping beats or rapid heart beats
is different from
excitement and enthusiasm

as well as thoughts like
"cannot sleep every night because of
thinking of you, missing you"
is different from
"having a good night sleep to be with you
in my dreams, and to have enormous energy
for tomorrow with you"

as well as thoughts like
"cannot sleep because im thinking of you"
is different from
"cannot sleep because im waiting for you"

same as the thought
"having a good night sleep to see you
in my dreams"
is different from
"having a good night sleep knowing that
you'll worry if i don't have any sleep at all"

being jealous all the time without trust
is different from
being jealous with trust
with the half thoughts same
wanting no one to get too close to your love one
but d one with without trust has a frown in his/her face
with a hard and painful feeling dealing with it
& the one with trust has a smile on his/her cheeks
with a soft though painful and happy feeling seeing her/him happy.

saying i love you without any restraints at all & without being shy
is different from
saying i love you with countless restraints and shyness.
for saying those words has a big responsibility
within it and has millions of meanings with one thought
where you are activating the pain,
preparing the mind, and planting your soul
without this,
your words has no value neither worth nor meaning

in simple thoughts, phenomenons, reasoning,
and various differentiation
we can distinguish whether
infatuation or love is what we are feeling, :]