Blabberings.

Solution
by Ren Concha
The spaces between our fingers

The emptiness that lingers

This intense emotion of neither happiness nor sadness

This poignant eyes desperately yearning for belongingness

A human being living with such history

Suffering the ruins in deep solitary

How could she ever be brimming of radiance

When the riddle of love is an extreme hindrance

Such puzzles entwined preordained to torment

The labyrinth of unknown serpents as opponent

Each moment left in wide isolation

Appears this anxious feeling of desolation

Apparently you are the only answer and resolution

To every problem of mine that needed a solution

Probably you are the answer to the riddle

And the path to the labyrinth's puzzle

Play the role you are predestined to in my life's tragedy

and Make the rest a worthwhile transformation to romance-comedy

Wordplay
by Ren Concha

the ocean cries

Love and Happiness

by Ren Concha

needle-like things piercing through my heart,

enough for separating my body and soul apart.

you know what it means when its life and death

slowly, gradually, rapidly taking away my breath.

is this what you call pain or is it some other feeling

in crowd you smile as if the ache is not even hurting

smiling, laughing, wishing someone would save you

inside the cage, crying, shouting, someone would free you

where is the key to eternal happiness

does it even exist in this darkness

loving someone wouldn't mean happiness

it also means being trapped in darkness

If Only
by Ren Concha

empty body walking dead

all the tears she shed

for him it's nothing

for her it's everything

giving him yourself in a hundred percent

being loved by him is zero percent

when is it fair, when is it mutual

happy, sad, pain, what an endless cycle

just how lucky are some to find their someone

who would answer their heart's call

just how miserable she is with her only one

who would never be his one and only at all.

if only our hearts can be taught

if only happiness could be bought

money would just be everything

no need for love cause its nothing

Tomorrow I want to go to the Beach

by Ren Concha

tomorrow i want to go to the beach

want to watch the waves of the sea

to witness the rise and set of the sun

and feel the flow of energy within me

my, isn't it a lovely feeling

peaceful and calm wind breezing

telling you life is a paradise

wherein reality is full of lies

fool are we trying to explore

something we couldn't reach

imaginations upon beyond seashore

remains imaginations even after death

endless rebellion inside us

war within ourselves

weak and fragile like glass

couldn't resist harshness of fate

tomorrow i want to go to the beach

continue living in illusions

believing beyond is what i imagine it to be

and so achieve happiness through imaginations

There is something in his eyes I wish to know. Everything’s changing I know, but my gut feelings are telling me that’s it’s for worse. This is what I fear – to know that his love for me is actually fading and for worst, without him himself realizing that. I am scared for that day to come, when I will ask the blue skies where his love has gone, where his eyes are looking, and for whom is he breathing now for? …

Who am I to begin with? What in me is supposed to likable eh? I can never be the kind of girlfriend he would ever like. I don’t know what’s supposed to do when in a relationship. Having no experience whatsoever, I admit, all the faults are on my side. The only thing I could do, whether wrong or right is to love, love, and love.

I cannot see but I can feel that this wouldn’t be everlasting as I would hope. He is definitely blooming. He is looking good, and better, Before I know it, he would be at his best. And for that matter, I can’t look at him.

There comes the time I pity myself. Any man won’t even glance with an ugly fat girl like me. Moreover, I know I cannot satisfy anyone in bed because I’m not that attractive and I don't have the stamina to go for rounds. I hate to be compared, but here am I comparing myself from his previous girlfriend. I would never ever be as good and as cunning like her when it comes to bed. HAHA
.
Seeing merely his looks changing little by little makes me question myself. Do I deserve this guy? Does he deserve someone like me? When in fact, I’m just a 15 year old girl who is merely lost in her huge dreams? I can tell. His eyes are telling me, I am not the type of girl he would be serious with for long. He even doesn’t like to talk with me about his future plans etcetera. But nonsense, since he would just deny it, and much worse, he really doesn’t know it, yet…

Seriously, when will I come to back to my sanity and stop clinging onto this man? When will I stop this craziness and let this man go? When will I finally accept that I was really never meant for him to begin with? When in reality I just snatched him from his previous woman? When will this madness end? And goodness gracious, when will a miracle happen? A miracle that we could and would be together despite all the odds…

Final thought eh? I DON’T WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME …

Dito ko na lang sasabihin. Magkukubli na lamang ako sa likod mga salita. Mga salitang saksi ng bawat sakit at kabiguan. Mga salitang tanging nakakaalam na ang tapang na ipinakita ko ay balatkayo lang. Mga salitang katumbas ay luha.

Ang sabi mo kagabi babawi ka. Naghintay ako. Walang ibang laman ang isip ko buong maghapon kundi ikaw. Hanggang sa mga sandaling ito ay naghihintay ako na magparamdam ka. Ngunit sadya nga talagang kinalimutan mo na ako. Ano nga lang ba ako para sa'yo? Isang dakilang nagmamahal lang. Kahit pa sasabihin kong hindi ako humihingi ng kapalit, umaasam pa rin ako na susuklian mo ang pagmamahal ko para sa'yo.

Lalo lamang nadagdagan ang takot ko ngayong wala na ang dahilan upang manatili ka. Ang pinanghahawakan ko na lang ngayon ay ang pangako mo. Pero hindi ba, promises are meant to be broken? Iyon ba ang dahilan kung bakit ka nananahimik ngayon?

Kung aalis ka man sa buhay ko, magpaalam ka naman sana. Kasi masakit ang patuloy na umasa sa wala. Alam mo iyon. Minsan mo nang pinagdaanan iyon. Hindi ko nga alam kung paano mo nagagawang balewalain ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo. Pero siguro, hindi ako kasing-espesyal o kasing importante para sa'yo.

Nasasaktan ako ngayon. Umasa ako na dadamayan mo ako sa pinagdadaanan ko. Nais ko sanang marinig ang boses mo upang kahit paano ay gumaan man lang ang nararamdamang kong bigat ng dibdib ko pero wala ka. Siguro nga, kinalimutan mo na ako. Paano mo nagagawa iyon? Maaari mo ba akong turuan? Nang sa ganon ay makalimutan ko rin na nasasaktan ako dahil sa'yo.

-masakit nanaman.. Hindi ko lam kung nakakarelate ba ako. Pero hnd ko alam talaga. Masakit lang. Dama ko lang ung sakit nung nagsulat nito.. :'(

Maari ba kitang yayain sa isang natatanging paglalakbay pabalik sa aking nakaraan? Isang yugto sa aking buhay kung kailan nagmahal din ako at nasaktan. Isang kahapong humubog sa kung sino at ano ako ngayon.

Nais kong ipakilala sa'yo ang aking sarili. Upang maintindihan mo na hindi ako dating ganito. Iniisip mo siguro na wala na akong ibang alam gawin kundi ang umiyak at maging mahina. Umaasa akong sa pagbabalik natin sa aking nakaraan ay makikita mong naging matapang din ako. Na hindi ako laging mahina. Na minsan ay nagtiwala din ako ng lubos ngunit ako ay nabigo. Na minsan ay ibinigay ko ang aking puso sa isang lalaki at umasa ako sa pangako niya.

Kung nakilala mo siguro ako noon at naitanong mo sa akin kung ano ang kahulugan ng salitang "forever", iisang pangalan lang ang isasagot ko sa'yo. Ang pangalan niya. Ngunit napagtanto kong ang "forever" pala ay hindi totoo. Minsan pa nga ay ginagamit lamang ang salitang ito upang magbigay ng isang pangakong walang katuparan. Walang katotohanan at walang kasiguraduhan.

Sana sa pagbabalik natin sa aking nakaraan ay naiintindihan mo na ako. Kung bakit ako ganito ngayon. Kung bakit natatakot akong mawala ka sa akin o kaya ay magsawa kang intindihin ang kakaibang takbo ng aking utak. Natatakot akong mapapagod ka sa paghihintay ng aking pagbabalik. Palagi akong insecure hindi dahil nagdududa ako sa pag-ibig mo, kundi dahil nagdududa ako sa kakayahan kong mapasaya ka. Sa lahat ng pinagdaanan ko, pag-ibig mo na lang ang natitirang magandang bagay sa buhay ko.

Hindi na ako naniniwala sa "forever" ngayon. Ang pinaniniwalaan ko na lang ay ang puso ko. Dahil palaging sinasabi nito na mahal kita. Madalas kumukontra ang isip ko pati na ang mga tao sa paligid ko. Pero hindi nadidiktahan ng sinuman ang bawat tibok at bawat pintig dahil lahat ng iyon ay para sa'yo na.

At kung tatanungin mo ako ngayon kung gaano kita kamahal. Iisa lang ang isasagot ko sa'yo. I love you more than all of me. More than every breath. More than every heartbeat. Umaasa akong ganon ka din. Sana.

- nalungkot ako nung binasa ko yan.. Hehe. Dama ko talaga ang sakit. Dama ko yung paghihirap. Dama ko yung pagmamahal. Maging ako umaasa 

In Silence

by Ren Concha

You are the reason of my happiness.

As well as the subject of my weakness.

I know I am to blame of my own sadness.

But poor me, I don't know what to do next.

During sad times, I'm trying my best to smile.

But for now let me just be true for a while.

Like alice in wonderland, I'm drown in my tears.

Oh I hope you are here helping me conquer my fears.

Like the thin wind that blows upon my hair.

In dark shadows where I wish you still care.

Clashes of thunders, storm of tears raining.

Pain and everything I am silently screaming.

Promise
by Ren Concha

I was so empty before, till you came.

You filled me up with the love that was never the same.

You made me feel like everything is in place.

Funny how my love for you grew just in days.

Baby come on, hold my hand and never let go.

I wanna let you know again and again that I love you so.

Babe we're going on a journey just the two of us

Let's make every moment and the magic last

The pain and the sorrow, I can take it.

As long as you're with me, I can make it.

And when promises are meant to be broken.

Promise me you'll never love me again.