with all of my heart.

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
and the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
and your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life everyday.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I'll love you forever
With all of my heart...


Believe in yourself
and all that you are.
Know that there is
something inside you
that is greater
than any obstacle.

Bare Hands II

Bare Hands II
By Ren Concha

can’t escape from the sheets we have shared
this passionate momentum we have both desired
in the night which only the moon had witnessed
I whined all through the night and became so modest

you came inside me and finally; for so long have I wished
you became mine, I became yours; yet the night is still long
we make love over and over again; we both became a beast

along as our kisses are going deeper and deeper;
your naughty hands were climbing down my flower,
so long I noticed your lips were going down
finally you have reached your desired destination

without hesitation, you flustered all over me
you touched the spot I've treasured since then
you licked with those hot tongue of yours;
and oooh, I yearned for more

and when you entered the key
i became more and more aggressive
i want faster, harder and you did it for me
the night is going on, and the next is what i can't believe

we have done it with playful positions
but your hotdog was unbelievably still hard
i sucked it and never did expected it was delicious
so i took a sly position and entered my own to you

till morning, till dawn
nonstop we have entered
each other's world

but that's not the end of story,
though the night ended playfully

i was deeply hurt and tried to control myself
yet damn it this mad escape of mine won't do
you've taken my heart, my soul, my body
you trained my body until I became addicted to you

this burning desire won't go
this passionate melody won't stop

i wanted more, i reached my limit, i became so bold
i walked up straight to you and ask you for once more
and you did not refused me; like a princess i was carried
to your room that looks like ready for another erotic masterpiece

you always have amused me
you never failed to satisfy me
i was so tired, I’ve reached my limit,
yet you were never contented

and countless nights have you taken me
and amidst our playful scene
you finally said you loved me...

I want to soar I

I want to soar I
by Ren Concha

i want to soar up high!
rebuild my name; my reputation.
yet why no opportunity knocks,
in order for me to do so
i want everyone to tell me the truth!
reveal their hidden thoughts!
convey their hidden feelings!

yet why does everyone seems to be so cold?
the adults; the olders; some people,
why do they discriminate?
why do they criticize?
can't a person like me live in peace?
can't i love normally like other does?

am i trash that needed to be discarded?
the answer is no right?
i have a purpose, just like everyone else
yet why do everyone and almost everything
ends up being the barrier to my fulfillment?

pray for us.

well please pray for us here in Jeddah,
there's a news forecast here;
it says that there will be 5 days of continuous rain and classes may be suspended.
the thing is they said that it will reach until 8 floors.
and surely many will die :[ please pray! :[

heard your voice.

heard your voice; never thought that tears would drop
i am stupid; such a fool; this happiness won't ever stop.
i am miles away; yet i can hear a gentle; beautiful melody.
it's faint; and gradually fading; yet what an exquisite artistry.

though slowly disappearing; finally figured out from where is it coming.
within you; it's playing; with strings made from a very strong feeling.

recalled the melody, played it in my mind, felt the hymn,
sing with the rhythm, get along with the beat and fell sound asleep.


it's 9 pm; it's been a lonely night; it's been hours since you took off
at the window here i am now staring; crying, pouring my heart out
waiting for your plane to pass; as tears continuously fall to my mouth
while sulking; was wondering what you are doing up there.
are you even thinking of me?; damn this pain's hard to bear
are you in a beauty sleep? wish you're dreaming something good
have you eaten dinner yet? wish you'll have the appetite or mood
are you cold? don't worry; just recall our memories; our love since it's warm
do you need a pillow? problem it not; imagine you're lying in me; in my arm
are you even comfortable there? hope you have me there through the night
are you enjoying? hope you were; wish you're happy through this long flight
if something happens; if you became so lonely; just summon me;
and i'll be there...


my world has now been a black and white;
i dont have the strength or power to fight.
i'll just wait and wait here for you to come back
so for the meantime i'll need to go back in track
move on with life using these nostalgia; these reminiscence
as my power to strenghten my weak; devastated existence

The Day you Left Me

The Day You Left Me
By Ren Concha

This day you'll be gone
So now in darkness I’ll be drawn
Along with those figments of you
Brightening my milieu; and so out of the blue
Raindrops came along with the wind that blew

At the window I stared,
In the sky was watching those things that flared
Wishing that somehow you're here with me
Watching all those birds that flee
Fed up with just staring; I went out
And your name I did shout

Along with this melancholic setting
A sudden sense of nostalgia was lingering
It was all recollected; the sorrowful pieces
It made myself and I torn as my pain increases

And now that you're gone; what's the next thing to do?
Is it just to wait for you? Still love you? Miss you?

Yes, I love you; it’s an everlasting happiness
Yet it became a never-ending feeling of ache
The moment you fly away bringing my gladness
Rain started to pour down from my eyes because of sadness;

I never thought letting go of your hand
Was just like letting go of my own soul
And now I was left incomplete
Standing on my own feet.

Bare Hands I

Bare Hands
By Ren Concha

I scrutinized you with enticing eyes.
I looked at you from head to feet
I was drawn; was captivated; madness won
I went closer; and alas!

Desires can no longer be resisted.
Slowly, gently, faintly
I stroked your hair; fondle your cheeks; caress you in my arms,
then it started;

Began with a peck; gradually became passionate
your cold yet gentle lips became so hot;
then, my bare hands finally touched it,
I played with that pinky-brownie-thing along your chest
abruptly; so unexpectedly; became hard;

And yes, more desires ruled my thoughts
like having a naughty play with you;
I want you to whine, yet it didn't happen.
You blushed; became red.
You felt something weird.
Then, I wanted more...
again and again; we did it.

And i was unexpectedly feeling good~
yet something happened
the swift of your eyes became so seductive,
your face became so cute
it's so hard to resist.

Yet awfully this instance didn't lasted much longer.
And damn it~ I want more.
Treat this as a gift for our next farewell.
Remember it, cherish it, miss it, and love it.

a lot of things

a lot of things happened.
i never knew it.
false premonitions. untrusted feelings.
then now i knew
i was in vain.
these harbored feelings were a mistake.
thoughts that only made me and myself suffer.
wrong and right.
now, i dont know which is this and that.
selfishness and desires crumpled.
now blind. no truth can be seen.
feelings are fault.
misunderstandings, unfounded proofs and reasoning.
unexplained matters, inevitable phenomenons.
now i've learned my lesson.
is it really like this? test first, then lesson?
it's so cruel, didn't even made us review,
didn't even teach us anything before that.
but now i know that this would be
the guide to the next tests in my life.
not surely the same test, but same feelings.
that needed to be corrected.
just like when having an ordinary exam in school.
every exams are all different, but there's one feeling,
can be excitement, can be nervousness.
which destructs our knowledge,
therefore must be changed into calmness,
and solve it with a moderate pace.
now, what should i do
to perfect the next test?
not exactly perfect, but atleast not to fail.
i won't like to end up sad and crying.
i would like to end up proud and smiling.

Nakalimutan na ba?

Aking napansin mga kabataan ngayong panahon
ay nalulunod na sa agos ng Pagmamahalan at hindi na nakita pa ang lupa sa kabila ng dagat.
Maraming kinabukasan ang nasira.
Maraming napariwara at naligaw ng landas.
Masasabi pa nga bang pagmamahalan ang naroon?
Ang naroon sa mga pagmamahalan na iyon ay sakit, pagdurusa,
pagpaparaya, kaligayahan, kalungkutan; parehas na parehas 
na nadarama sa isang tunay na pagmamahalan.
Ngunit ang kaiba lang ay lumalaya 
ang mga kaluluwa nito sa kanilang mga katawan 
at lumilipad ito sa hangin at doon nagsasaya at nag-aaliw.
May kakaibang kulay silang matatanaw
at hindi ito maipaliwanag ng kanilang mga mata.
Makakapaghintay at may respeto sa isa't isa;
ang siyang mangingibaw sa isang relasyon.
Walang kamahan, walang galawan,
uunahin ang mga unang prayoridad,
ngunit iisa ang adhikain, iisa ang hangarin;
at laman sila ng mga pangarap ng isa't isa.
Magtinginan lamang ay malalaman na nila
ang nilalaman ng loob ng isa't isa.
Maghawak-kamay lamang ay kontento na.
Hindi nakakabaliw, hindi nakakaapi.
Tila nakakalimutan na ata nila ang totoong kahulugan
ng salitang "Mahal" o "Love".
Muli, hindi ito nagdudulot ng kasamaan at kasiraan.
Dala nito ang maliwanag na daan sa landas
ng dalawang taong nagmamahalan.
Sabay nilang babangayin at lalampasan
lahat ng balakid na darating.
Hindi ito nagwawakas at kailanman titigil.
Iyon ang katotohanan na laman ng mga salitang iyan.
Tila halos bulag na ang ilan o karamihan.


another unpredictable day had passed.
new problems appeared.
new challenges to defeat.
new difficulties to overcome.
im trembling with excitement,
yet agitated and frightened
another fire had began.
another sparkle added to the flame.
another moment to cherish
another lesson to learn
another pain inflicted
another smile flickered
another twinkle in the eyes
another truth between lies
another determination built up
another fighting spirit lit up
another fears ahead
another tears to shed
new feelings to be encountered
new meanings to be discovered
a new priceless thing to gain
an endless shine of sun after the rain :]

is it just life?

i won't allow these to happen, but what can i do if
our conversations are getting shorter,
our phone calls are disappearing.
my smiles are getting less smilish,
our goodbyes are turning in to silence,
our forever is turning in to alot shorter,
my faith is getting smaller,
my love is getting weaker,
my heart is lost,
our friendship is dying.
can we help this..or is it just life?

ywq mangyari to TT^TT. x[


im being deeply enamored. at present being more than amorous. my feelings all puckish; naughty. i have these different thoughts dancing in my mind, lyrics playing in my heart, and some puns mischievously playing in my lips. i want to express it with my best, yet im feeling a little lethargic though im in a frisky mood. im frightened to be nothing after releasing my obscured aura through verses, in other words i may have nothing left inside of me if i convey it and put all into words. 

where is this place?

"if i cant give you the stars from the sky,
i'll just bring you there, just don't cry..."

you've given me the light
that given me utmost might

you've given me the love
deeper than the ocean waters have

you've made me glow
made my inner self show

you've given me the stars
and made me felt like i'm in Mars.

hotness and brightness
all shimmering and brimming.
sparkles in our romance
is what i am awaiting
timing of our togetherness
can forever be endless.
for i'll bring you to this land,
where the two of us
would start over again. =)

i want to show you as well,
that the things above our heads,
can also be reached in lands as we lead.

"Let's have a superb journey together!
let's sail to unknown seas, travel to unfamiliar lands,
let's come across, stumble upon the treasure hidden along the quest!"

just call me

tawagin mo lang ako,
sa puso mo darating ako!
sa panaginip ko, ika'y dadalawin ko!
pupunasan ko luha mo!
papatahimikin ko rin ang puso mo!
alam ko naman sumisigaw yan eh!
hindi rin mapakali noh?
kasi miss na miss ako!
wag ka mag-alala ako rin nga eh!
kaya sabay nating papatahamikin isa't isa!
kaya naman sa susunod nating pagkikita,
hahagkan kita ng mahigpit na mahigpit,
at hahalikan na puno ng init,
kaya abangan mo!

oh ano nabasa mo?
nakakatuwa ba ako?
hahaha! pasensya na!
pinapatawa lang kita!
kase mahal kita!
:)) :)) :))

Ngayong wala ka na

Ngayong wala ka na
Ni Ren Concha

Ngayong wala ka na, sino na nga ba ako?
Ngayong wala ka na, nasaan na ako?
Ngayong wala ka na, ano pang silbi ko?
Ngayong wala ka na, ano pang dahilan para mabuhay ako?

Para kanino pa ba ang mga sinusulat ko?
Itong pag-ibig na alay ko?
Ang kantang aking ikinakanta?
Para kanino pa ba ang awit na taglay?

Ngayong wala ka, dapat pa ba akong umasa?
Dapat pa ba akong maghintay?
Ngayong wala ka, kaya ko ba maging masaya?
Kaya ko pa bang magmahal ng tunay?

Ngunit, bakit ngayon, pumapatak ang luha?
tumatangis ang aking dibdib?
nanginginig ang aking mga laman?
wala nang sigla ang aking kaluluwa?

bakit hindi na makuhang tumuwa pang muli?
hindi na maitago ang ramdam kong ikinukubli?
hindi na tumigil yaring luhang tangis ng pusong sawi?
hindi na makaundagaga sa kakadama ng mga atubili?

nasan ka na ba?
ngayo'y tingin ko'y lahat ng pangako'y naglaho!

nasan ka ba?
gayong mga sumpa nati'y nawalan lahat ng bisa!

nasan ka na ba?
ngayong lagapak ang aking katauhan!

bakit mo ko iniwang nag-iisa?
ni hindi na sumulat pa,
ni hindi na tumawag pa.
nakalimutan mo na nga ba?
mga hindi mapalitang tawanan nating dalwa?
mga hindi makalimutang iyakan nating dalwa?
hindi mo na nga ba matandaan?
iyong nadaramang init at tuwa kapag ika'y hinahalikan?
iyong nadaramang saya at galak kapag ika'y hinahagkan?
humuhupay na nga ba?
mga alaala nating dalawa?
ang pag-ibig na ating isinumpang walang wakas?

o iwinala na?
ng bago mong pag-ibig?
o sa simula't sapul pa lang,
balewala na ang lahat?

sa tingin mo ba'y magiging kaibigan pa?
para sa kin hindi na! tinapos mo na!
hindi na muli maibabalik pa!
dahil sa pagiging magkaibigan
hindi ka na akin!
hindi na kita mahahagkan!
hindi ko na mahahawakan ang mga kamay mo!
hindi ko na malalaro ang buhok mo!
sapagkat hindi ko ugaling magsinungaling sa sarili!
lalo na kapag ukol sayo ang aking nadaramang muli!
wala akong nais ikubli!
tandaan mong ikaw ang susi!
sa puso kong iyong iwinawaksi.

pagkatandaan mo, kapag ka'y umalis
ikaw na ang siyang pumaslang sa dating ako
sa yumaong masayahing nakilala mo, ng lahat
hindi na mababago, sapagkat nakaguhit na ito
sa nagitla kong katauhan na iyo ring inalipusta
sa ngalan ng iyong pag-ibig na iyong winakasan na.

Along the road

Along the Road
By Ren Concha

It is still too far
The road towards the sun.
The path i'll take
Towards my everlasting happiness.

I’m wondering
How many days? How many weeks?
How many months? How many years?
Before i can grasp it?

I wonder how many curves are
In this path I’m crossing?
I wonder if I’ll get lost in this journey.
I wonder how much rains are along the way.
I wonder what'll be next phases of moon
I’ll be able to see?
I wonder how sparkly and glittery
The stars will be?

I wonder how much beauty of this world
Can I unravel?
I wonder who I will meet during my journey.
I wonder if I can see my shooting star.
I wonder if I can wish,
And I wonder if it'll be granted or not.

I wonder how many miracles I can see
How much love I’ll get
How many real friends I’ll have
And how much pain I’ll feel.

I wonder if I can survive.
I wish I can. I really don't want to die yet.
And i really don't want to experience thousands of pain.
But I don't like the much/all happy life as either.

I want to meet many challenges.
I like thrills and tense situations.
I like adventures.
Then if it's like that
I’ll have my own chronicles
And surpass its own obstacles!

I’ll enjoy! I’ll have fun!
Though I’ll cry sometimes
I’ll never be bored!
I’ll laugh and smile
As I continue living on
With God. With my family.
With my true friends.
All of them guiding me.
And with my special person
Who I wish to walk with in this journey.
but I’m really wondering
is there an end to this path?
or will this continue on forever?


i am simply happy this day~ :] at long last! my bestfriend forgave me!!!! and by the way today is our friendship monthsary, 9th of november! haha! im so happy. :]

though i have other issues with my other friends, i feel contented, satisfied, comfortable and happy.

but through this situation i already have a hint who are my real friends. :]

other than that, i am satisfied with my grades now!

here's a list of my scores:

TLE - 51/70 = 72%

Chemistry - 53/60 = 88%

Geometry - 49/55 = 89%

English - 50/55 = 90%

AP Asian History - 62/68 = 91%

Trigonometry - 58/60 = 97%

Filipino - 74/75 = 98%

MAPEH III - 54/55 = 98%

at least my grades are updated! and i wish that in next quarter exams, i can do better!

praise God!! :)

and im proud of her~!!! having high scores~!!! yey!!!!!

on the other side i still can't forget my ring! i still haven't found it~ a puzzle ring (gold, silver, bronze) and the other ring which has a diamond, heart, clover, & spade carved in it! huhuhu.

THANKS GOD for today! and HELP ME! hahahaha!! :))


having butterflies in the stomach and nervousness
is different from
being calmed and reassured!
heart skipping beats or rapid heart beats
is different from
excitement and enthusiasm

as well as thoughts like
"cannot sleep every night because of
thinking of you, missing you"
is different from
"having a good night sleep to be with you
in my dreams, and to have enormous energy
for tomorrow with you"

as well as thoughts like
"cannot sleep because im thinking of you"
is different from
"cannot sleep because im waiting for you"

same as the thought
"having a good night sleep to see you
in my dreams"
is different from
"having a good night sleep knowing that
you'll worry if i don't have any sleep at all"

being jealous all the time without trust
is different from
being jealous with trust
with the half thoughts same
wanting no one to get too close to your love one
but d one with without trust has a frown in his/her face
with a hard and painful feeling dealing with it
& the one with trust has a smile on his/her cheeks
with a soft though painful and happy feeling seeing her/him happy.

saying i love you without any restraints at all & without being shy
is different from
saying i love you with countless restraints and shyness.
for saying those words has a big responsibility
within it and has millions of meanings with one thought
where you are activating the pain,
preparing the mind, and planting your soul
without this,
your words has no value neither worth nor meaning

in simple thoughts, phenomenons, reasoning,
and various differentiation
we can distinguish whether
infatuation or love is what we are feeling, :]

a test?

Friendships can never be based in tests. Why is it even necessary for you to test me just for you to trust me fully? You'll know that it's friendship when there's a test and both of us can overcome it with victory in our hands and heart! Why can't you understand it? Why do we need to waste our time? You making a test for me? Me solving your test? I really want you to trust me the way I trust you! I want you to treat me like I treat you! I don't wanna fight with you at all! I just wanna hang out with you! If I hurt your feelings, then Sorry! I know you're sensitive, but apologies are meant to be accepted! I really want you! As my best friend! I don't know why! Maybe that's because we share the same past, we have the same experiences, we share the same pain and we even shared the same shelter - the darkness [before]! But I have this feeling inside of me! It feels that I need to cling to you! I need to be your best friend! You always looked at me with hatred! You only see me as your rival! Your enemy! But I don't want that at all! I've never looked with you with hatred! I never see you as my enemy! Never! I see you as my best friend! I don't understand why but I really do want to be your best friend! Please let me be! Please acknowledge me! I'm begging you because this feelings of mine are taking control of me now! I want you as my precious friend... I'm getting impatient! But I will never give up, even if it means to fight with a handicap, though i may take some rest and say i'm lazy! 

[dedicated to a friend who is sensitive and has many sides]


cupid's arrow aimed the wrong soul.
so then it was a foul.
from this i guess cupid also has his own mistakes
for he truly aimed the other person's soul
the thing was, i passed through the angle and
in result i was the one shot in the muddle.
from that i guess im at fault too.
but it was coward of him to leave me through.
he left me falling in love with you
inspite that im the wrong person for you.
he didn't only shot me off-guard
but brought me the feeling of pain due to unwariness
and bleeding through his arrow's tip which has absolute sharpness
so it's apparent that i'm shot deeply within.
then we met, encountered, and interacted.
formed a bond that can't easily be defeated.
pains and wounds, all had been healed unconsciously.
by the trust and love that is never lost that easily.
now, that feeling is deeper than the ocean
and stronger than the wind can blow
why do weakness reveal themselves?
making us go back from the very beginning and making us part
with the unacceptable truth
that we are not made for each other from the very start.
asiding the fault of cupid that cannot be reverted and corrected
the only problem, enigma, hitch, and difficulty is one.
and all the other obstacles, im confident we'll overcome undefeated.

i feel dissatisfied, discontented and sullen.
i don't know where to start and i don`t know how to end my story.
it feels like thousand of blades are passing through me.

im surrounded by questions.
and i'll share some here.

"why was it so wrong even if the feeling is so right?"
"why do i feel lonely all along through the night?"
"why does everything goes against our away?"
"why does our distance is increasing each day?"
"why am i the one chosen to have this fate?"
"why do i have to struggle and fight my own faith?"
"why do we love each other so much?"
"why am i longing for the touch?"
"why do i feel complete?"
"why do i desire to compete?"
"why is everything falling apart?"
"why do we need to part?"

cloudy sky

Cloudy Sky
hazy, misty, gloomy, and vague
the sun hidden behind the clouds
the ray of light shining across the sea
and it's reflection amidst the water
like mirrors trapped underneath 
concealed with ambiguous gist

another day with a dark cloudy sky
along with wind of vicious gust that cries
and towers thrusting skyward
giving signs that its about to rain hard

when rain starts to drop, dusk is next
the milieu starts to fall into blackness
and soon everyone feels pensive as darkness is approaching.

we have no boundaries in our thoughts
and same for our feelings that is without bounds.
i am wondering and pondering in thoughts

why do the sun needs to hide
behind the clouds when it rains?
resembling the question
why do hopes and light needs to hide
behind those lies when it's dark and hopeless?

i am so weary to reason, contemplate and mull over
but still my curiosity to this uncertainty in life
drives me to exploring reality beyond illusory

"answer the genuine truth that lies within
don't let the mirrors trap you in
or else in your eyes and soul nothing can be seen."

by Ren


.i am called ren.
and i hate my real name, so don't bother asking.

.i am a person obviously
but i sometimes wonder how to be an alien.

.i have my own flaws and blemishes just like everyone else does.

.i have my own set of friends
and i have someone special right now as well
though having that someone with me
will cause disapproval and change of views of the other people
including some friends and family towards me.
but im ready if that happens
because i know that someone is here, with me.

by the way,
im an anime and manga addict!
im a great fan of naruto,
a story of an idiot boy who was alone at first
but along the road met his friends
and fights for them and made the person who feels alone not alone.
in summary, this is a story of friendships and not giving up!!
you can say im an otaku.
but im not a weabo nor a wapanese.
and also i am studying japanese as well as korean.
i am a great fan of Jun Matsumoto, though you may not know him.

i express myself through poems.
writing a poem is my passion.
i write and compose songs as well.
i like quotes and sayings.
i like debates. i like discussions.
i dislike boring things.

i absolutely hate criticisms and judgmental people the most.
i don't have a hobby to bully and to belittle persons.
but im bullied and belittled.
especially by the opposite gender.
and that cause my hatred and craving desire to have revenge.
but now things are in the other way around.

i talk back if i have to.
i fight back when if have to.
i'll even declare war if i have to.
especially when important persons or things are involved.

i may not be the type of person you like.

i am short-tempered, moody, talkative, hyper, crazy, silly, weird, gullible, etc.
but i have some good points too
and somewhere along the road you'll see it.

i know the feeling of loneliness
and the real feeling of being alone.
i know the feeling of being rejected and unwanted.
i know the feeling of broken, shattered, and destroyed.
i know the feeling of hating life and wanting to end it.
i know the feeling of shouldering all the problems
and having all the blame to yourself.
i know the feeling of giving up, strength lost, power drained,
and feeling empty deep inside.
i know how it feels to be inlove.
to be in the state of having different emotions
having confusion and being indecisive.
i know it because in this 14 years of life,
i have experienced it.

but i dont only have that side of my life.
i may have been engulfed by the darkness before,
now im slowly reaching the light.
now i also came to know the feeling of happiness, at last!
now i see the beauty of life, though it is still mysterious!
now i started to look things in a different way!
and its
thanks to someone out there.
and of course thanks to God.

(i am a catholic-christian~)

love me or hate me, i'm still gonna be me.
i like everyone else to acknowledge me.
i like everyone to be my friend.
and i want no one to dislike nor hate me.
i want no one to be my enemy.
as much as possible.