by - Friday, October 23, 2009

.i am called ren.
and i hate my real name, so don't bother asking.

.i am a person obviously
but i sometimes wonder how to be an alien.

.i have my own flaws and blemishes just like everyone else does.

.i have my own set of friends
and i have someone special right now as well
though having that someone with me
will cause disapproval and change of views of the other people
including some friends and family towards me.
but im ready if that happens
because i know that someone is here, with me.

by the way,
im an anime and manga addict!
im a great fan of naruto,
a story of an idiot boy who was alone at first
but along the road met his friends
and fights for them and made the person who feels alone not alone.
in summary, this is a story of friendships and not giving up!!
you can say im an otaku.
but im not a weabo nor a wapanese.
and also i am studying japanese as well as korean.
i am a great fan of Jun Matsumoto, though you may not know him.

i express myself through poems.
writing a poem is my passion.
i write and compose songs as well.
i like quotes and sayings.
i like debates. i like discussions.
i dislike boring things.

i absolutely hate criticisms and judgmental people the most.
i don't have a hobby to bully and to belittle persons.
but im bullied and belittled.
especially by the opposite gender.
and that cause my hatred and craving desire to have revenge.
but now things are in the other way around.

i talk back if i have to.
i fight back if i have to.
i'll even declare war if i have to.
especially when important persons or things are involved.

i may not be the type of person you like.

i am short-tempered, moody, talkative, hyper, crazy, silly, weird, gullible, etc.
but i have some good points too
and somewhere along the road you'll see it.

i know the feeling of loneliness
and the real feeling of being alone.
i know the feeling of being rejected and unwanted.
i know the feeling of broken, shattered, and destroyed.
i know the feeling of hating life and wanting to end it.
i know the feeling of shouldering all the problems
and having all the blame to yourself.
i know the feeling of giving up, strength lost, power drained,
and feeling empty deep inside.
i know how it feels to be in love.
to be in the state of having different emotions
having confusion and being indecisive.
i know it because in this 14 years of life,
i have experienced it.

but i dont only have that side of my life.
i may have been engulfed by the darkness before,
now im slowly reaching the light.
now i also came to know the feeling of happiness, at last!
now i see the beauty of life, though it is still mysterious!
now i started to look things in a different way!
and its
thanks to someone out there.
and of course thanks to God.

(i am a catholic-christian~)

love me or hate me, i'm still gonna be me.
i like everyone else to acknowledge me.
i like everyone to be my friend.
and i want no one to dislike nor hate me.
i want no one to be my enemy.
as much as possible.

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