Blabberings.

As lay in bed,
I can’t get rid of this habit,
which is thinking of you.
And I wonder why in any circumstances,
I simply can't get rid of this feeling
which is missing you.
Even if I reach out to the moon,
the sun won't still shine for me.
I wonder if I can fix this tune,
so I can hear no stops in the cd.
In short I want no blocks,
for I’ll destroy all locks,
that keeps you in a distorted cage,
and keeps me disturbed in stage.
I want to see you,
and that's because I miss you.
And that's reason why I need you.
And it's all because I love you.

-Ren

Wherever you are, no matter what happens, I'll still find you and get you back into my arms again~ ♥

(some article i made around 2007 i think, found from my old stuffs, just sharin it out here.)

I am "Life"
if you figure out why,
here's a thought,
What do you commonly hear from people about what life is?

G:
That night was exceptional, especially when we joined together
All night long, we desperately, passionately searched for pleasure

B:
Ever since that very night, there hasn’t been a day I haven’t thought about you
Do you know how long I’ve waited? To be able to touch and kiss you like this again?

B:
Look just how wet you are from simple smacks and kisses
Look, just having your nipples played with, give you many ecstasies.
Look at those teary eyes of yours, it is so attractive,
Looking at me like that, I can’t really resist, it is so seductive.

B:
Now I want to make you cry, see more of your precious tears.
Let out and let me hear your most beautiful moans.
I desperately want to see that erotic sight again
Feel and taste that sweet nectar of yours once again.

G:
And now it is really becoming the same as that wonderful night
Such another great masterpiece within sight
My body is wrapped up with very sweet tingles
Just from your red-hot and spicy kisses

B:
Your eyes is clouded with so much passion
When I thrust my big stuff into you
You cried out like you were in pain.
And you sucked my cock in so tightly.

B:
Being inside you is still wonderful as ever sweetheart
That night, I thrust so deep inside you so many times
I even actually thought I’ll break you apart
But I don’t care even if it’s one of the crimes.

I am wrong.
I feel remorseful.
I really regret it.

First of all,
From the bottom of my heart, I deeply regret.
From the depths of my mind, I did doubt.
And all those reasons I made, are nothing but lies.

Second.
I admit, I did feign ignorance.
I know, you had thought of vengeance.
But your love for me prevailed,
yet reaching me still failed.
How can I say sorry?
Will you still accept me?

Third.
I miss you. It's because I need you. And it is all because I love you.
That's why I was damn happy when you told me you still love me.
My mind went blank, my eyes stared into space.
Your words echoed in my mind, and so, I seriously thought about it.
But I was damn frustrated, cause my mind badly, so badly rejects you.
You know why? Because I am still trapped in the state of what you call doubt.

Fourth.
In my dictionary, it says it's still infatuation.
These feelings I have for you is transitory.
Yes it exists now, but later, surely it will be gone.
Hey, tell me, how shall I interpret this?
Am I now running back and forth inside a maze of confusion?
Because I can't find my way, the right way going to you.

Fifth.
May I know what's doubt again?
Uncertainty about the truth, actuality or existence of something?
So now going back to you, don't you have someone special already?
Going back to me, does that mean, I am wasting efforts for nothing?
Then what's this uncertainty all about? Does the truth even involves me?
Now that I think about it, no it isn't! It became a wall that I can't even break!

Sixth.
Damn, I can't understand what I'm saying anymore.
My mind is clouded with many clashing thoughts.
What shall I do? I am becoming insane.
Though this is a freestyle writing, does an ordinary human like you,
can even understand the meaning?

Seventh, lastly...
So infuriating, I can't find the right words to say.
Now, all I know is that I changed my perception.
About things, about the world, and about love.
It's hard to figure out. It is a continuous cycle of doubt and lies.
But that is what makes it interesting.
On how to make those doubts disappear, how to make those lies useful
into making one's love a profound evidence of distorted beauty.

Playing The Game of Life

Why Choose To Develop Virtues?

• Right Concentration : If you focus your attention on peacefulness, responsibility, detachment and tolerance ... your life is going to attract people and events with these qualities into your life.

• Right Relationship : If you offer the people around you respect, caring, trust, honor, love, friendliness, forgiveness and loyalty ... you will surround yourself with people who value these qualities and offer them to you in return.

• Right Intention : If all your words and actions come from an attitude of service, trustworthiness, fairness, purposefulness, determination and cleanliness ... people will sense this and respond in kind.

• Right Mindfulness : If you keep in mind ... and thus your thoughts and actions reflect ... idealism, reverence, self-discipline and gratitude -- you are going to attract people and situations where these virtues are valued, needed and rewarded.

• Right Thinking : If your thoughts reflect your innate courage, creativity, honesty and generosity ... your speech and actions will demonstrate them to the people around you more clearly than if you shouted it from the treetops.

• Right Speech : If all your words reflected and embodied truthfulness ... tact ... helpfulness ... understanding ... thankfulness ... and consideration ... people will notice it and welcome you into their presence.

• Right Effort : If you come from a place of steadfastness, resourcefulness, perseverance, moderation, and faithfulness ... you can withstand any challenge and overcome any obstacle.

• Right Action : If all your actions reflect the integrity, courtesy, kindness, gentleness, justice and mercy you believe everyone is entitled to ... you will get these same qualities in return from your fellow man as well as the universe.

• Right Livelihood : If you bring to your work diligence, excellence, enthusiasm, confidence, obedience, reliability and modesty ... your work will show it and your livelihood will prosper.

• Right Timing : If you embrace the qualities of humility, and balance patience with assertiveness, and orderliness with flexibility ... you will act in harmony with the events and trends around you.

• Right View : If you view the world with joyfulness and see the inherent unity of all things ... then you will start to see a new world and heaven will appear out of thin air before you.

The most destructive habit: Worry